Troubled Souls // 5SOS

V ∞ Fear

• Michael •

I jump out of the car when my mum pulls in front of the hospital building. "I'll pick you up afterwards, okay?" She says.

I nod, grabbing my notebook off of the dashboard before I close the door and she drives away.

I glance up and see Luke walking down the sidewalk towards the hospital. He makes eye contact with me and I panic. Should I wave at him? Should I just ignore him or something? I lift my hand and give him an small wave. He raises an eyebrow and rolls his eyes.

I quickly duck into the building. That was awkward. I take the elevator up to the third floor and find the room with ease. Beth sees me walking in and grins, patting the seat next to her. I smile and sit down.

"Hey!" She says enthusiastically when I sit down next to her. "I like your flannel. So, would your parents be okay with having everyone over tonight? I mean, we could have it another night if that works better, but I just thought tonight would be good, you know?"

I nod, picking up my notebook to quickly flip to a blank page. I write, "My parents are going over to a friend's house tonight, so I'm sure they'd be okay with everyone coming over."

"Awesome!" She exclaims.

She's so excited that she grabs my hand and I feel my face getting hot. God, I hope I'm not visibly blushing. With my hand that's not in hers now, I grab my pen and write, "Can you bring the marshmallows?"

"Okay, guys, I think we can get started now," Sophie cuts in. Beth turns to me and nods, wordlessly answering my question.

I glance around the room to distract myself from the fact that Beth hasn't let go of my hand and my palms are progressively becoming sweatier. Luke's t-shirts says, "Destroy yourself, see who gives a fuck." Well, that's a bit depressing. Ashton's beanie is red today. It's been grey the last couple of times we've been here.

"Guys, we're going to be changing up our discussion a little bit today," Sophie informs us. "Instead of going through our standard system, we're going to devote our time today to talking about one thing: fear."

Everyone glances around the room at each other, looking uncomfortable, worried. Who wants to confess their deepest fears to a room full of people they've only known for a couple of weeks?

"Fears are an important part of almost any disorder," Sophie explains. "Instead of shying away from our fears, we should learn to come to terms with them. If a fear can't be conquered, it can at least be controlled. We'll just go around the circle, as usual. Ashton, would you start, please?"

Ashton is the first one to Sophie's left. Poor bastard; who wants to be the first to go in these kind of conversations? Ashton seems to take it into consideration for a few moments before answering.

"Well, I'm sure anyone would expect me to be afraid of death considering my position, but I'm really not," he begins. "It's been difficult to do, but I've finally come to terms with the fact that I could die before I turn 18. What I'm terrified of is having to leave my family behind. I mean, this morning I could barely get my siblings to let me leave the house for therapy. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like if I had to leave them behind for good."

There's a long silence after Ashton finishes. I'd never really thought of it that way. I mean, Ashton's had to come to terms with the possibility of dying. That's something that no teenager should have to do.