J & P Book 5 - Never Let Me Go

Chapter One - Present Day - February 2013

Claire Smalley was taking five minutes to herself, before she picked up her son Dexter from school. She was relaxing in the front room of the home she shared with Dexter, her husband Patrick, and, occasionally, one or both of her step-children.

She was eating the last of the chocolates that Patrick had bought her as one of her Valentines' Day gifts (along with several bouquets of flowers and a necklace, her new husband enjoyed spoiling her and she didn't ever feel inclined to complain) and browsing through the property pages of the local paper. They needed somewhere bigger. It was always a squeeze when Andrew stayed over every other weekend, on a put-up bed in what was now Dexter's room. And if Hattie happened to be staying with them at the time, there would be two put-up beds in various rooms of the house. But it was worth it, to see the joy on Patrick's face, having his family all around him.

It was a complicated family. Andrew was Patrick's stepson from his first marriage; he had brought Andrew up as his own from birth, until he'd separated from Andrew's mother Jenny a few years ago. Hattie was Patrick's daughter as a result of a one-night stand with his ex; he had not known Hattie existed until she was almost eight years old, and had spent the last two years spoiling her rotten making up for it. And now Dexter was his second stepson, yet Patrick was more of a father to Dexter than his real father had ever been.

She looked up at the photograph of the five of them in the hallway, taken at their wedding a couple of months ago, and smiled. How life had changed in the last two years. From really bad, to really good. Pretty much in an instant.

Claire's life had started out okay, but it had started to go wrong in her mid-teens. Claire was an only child. Her mum and dad had both worked a lot. They'd never had a lot of time for her. They hadn't cared if she spent her weekends with her friends, they'd barely noticed if she was out late at night. Claire had tried to make them notice. She had always made it her mission to stay out late, dress inappropriately, find unsuitable men in nightclubs. But they still hadn't really noticed. It was as if they hadn't really cared.

Baby had always been Claire's best friend, ever since Claire could remember. Then, at some point, they'd become part of a group of four friends, with Zamian, and Paul. Initially Paul, who Claire had known all her life, had been the one who'd introduced the girls to Zamian, his tall, blond, attractive friend. Both girls had eyes for only Zamian. And, eventually, Paul drifted away and the three of them became a solid group.

This carried on until just before her last year of university started. Baby and Zamian had started to get closer than they had been previously. Eventually, the inevitable happened. And Claire was not happy about it. She'd felt that she was the one who would eventually win Zamian's heart. And now they were two and that left her.. well, nowhere. She could remember feeling rejected, angry, and incredulous. Looking back, she couldn't really remember the time that she was that person. So arrogant and spoilt.

Then it had happened. The awful thing that had happened to her, that she had always tried to blank out, that she'd never spoken to anyone about. Until she'd met Patrick.

And after that had all happened, life had seemed to be on autopilot for a while. She hadn't really been in control of anything. She'd drunk a lot. Eventually, Baby had begun to lose interest in Zamian. Claire had lost all of her self-worth by this point, and had thrown herself at the weak Zamian on a number of occasions, and he had gone along with it. She'd expected to have felt delighted that she had finally got the man that she thought would mean something to her. But now she had him, she realised that he didn't, really.

When Baby had finally left Zamian, getting together with Paul in a bizarre twist that Claire hadn't anticipated and still didn't understand, Claire and Zamian had given things a go. But it just hadn't felt right. Claire didn't feel deserving of love. She still felt worthless. It fizzled out.