Hold On

| 16 |

I awake in the morning wishing to see Thomas. But it's John whose arms I lay in.

"Morning," I rub my eyes. "I can't believe we slept on this tiny bed."

It was a standard single twin bed the hospitals offered. Usually, patients would be grouped together and forced into one room, but John is a Shelby. And Shelby's don't share hospital rooms.

He looks sleepy as he rubs his eyes, the bruising for him can't be seen on his face, but I notice the specks of stitching run down his arm. I guess when he fell on the ground, his skin dragged against the concrete.

I swallow, as my eyes raise up to his.

He chuckles, "I know. It's the best I've slept, though."

It's the first time we've slept together. I soften at his words and kiss him before getting off the bed. I stretch, and he watches.

"Are you feeling better?"

He nods. "Ready to get out of here."

There is a knock on the door, and I jump hearing the voice of the doctor. Turning around, he says good morning to the both of us.

"I see you had a sleepover." The doctor stiffens out a laugh. "John, looks like your post op is looking good."

"How about his blood pressure?" I cross my arms over my chest.

"He's fine."

"His wounds?"

"Dressed last night, no infection."

"Will you please check again, doctor?"

He nodded and did that. Unwrapping the bandage to the gunshot. I see dried blood, but no pus or sores. He really is healing extremely well.

"You take three of these throughout the day," The chemist tells John. "Then two of these, preferred on an empty stomach."

I nod, "Got it."

We're home before noon and I help John into bed. I give him his medicine, one that'll prevent infections, one for the aches and pains. He lays down on the pillow I sleep on and sighs, "This is nice."

I kiss his forehead.

"Will you lay with me?"

"I've got to go to work," I whisper. "Someone's got to make us money."

He smiles at my sarcasm and nods me off. "Alright. You go but come back to me,"

"I'll be back before you wake up. I assure you that."

I get to work and am backed up with a pile of work to do. I say hello to Polly, who follows me into my office.

"You continue to amaze me." She says and shuts the door. "Grace is saying she wants to leave Birmingham, what did you and Tommy get up to for the days John was away?"

I smile. "That's between him and I."

"He's walking about with a mighty smile on his face."

"I'm sure that has nothing to do with me." I open my book and start breaking down the finances. "And so what if he's happy! Who cares?"

"John boy will." She sits down on the desk I try to work on. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, sure, but I say hell hath no fury like John when he finds out you're fucking his brother."

"Stop," I laugh, but quickly shake it off. "You're being bad, Polly."

"I'm being bad!" She points at herself in an innocent way and walks over to me. "You need to be careful is all I'm saying."

"Thank you, Polly for your wise words."

"Seriously. You're the only girl I like 'round here."

"I like you too, but I think I know how I can end all of this." I turn to her in my squeaky chair.

"Oh?"

I nod, and put out my cigarette.

"John really loves me. And I think, if I tell him about Tommy, he'll understand that if he truly loves me, he'll let me go."

"Too easy!" She dismissed my idea. "You've been married to him for over two months, are you telling me you don't know him at all?"

"John's changing, for me, for our union."

"He's not changing, he's smitten, but soon that'll change. You need to run before the bad gets really bad."

Jesus Christ, don't make it sound so bad!

I swallow, "Do you think it'll get really bad?"

She looks at me as if to ask me if I'm being completely serious.

"If John hears that his little doll is opening her pretty legs for another man, and that man is his brother," Polly exhales, "I think our John will be pretty irate. We'll need a bloody horse tranquilizer to calm him down."

"Well what the fuck should I do?"

"Stop sleeping with Thomas and giving him false hope, for starters."

"But I love him," I exhale, my shoulders slump over. "I really do."

"You shouldn't have saved John." She says after a beat of silence.

"He was dying." I reply, raising my head.

"So? Should have let him die, then you wouldn't have this problem." Polly grabs my cigarette carton and lights herself a match. She lights up the cigarette that sits between her pink coloured lips and shakes out the lighter. "That's the thing with you nurses and doctors, you try to play God too much. Look at where it's led you, between a psychopath and the man you love."  

She takes a long drag and asks me if I want a pull. I shake my head, Polly gets off of the desk and walks towards the door.

"Whatever you do, I'm rooting for you."

"Thank you." I mumble.

"By the way, Arthur knows."

"Should I be worried?"

"Just, be careful, is all."

When I get back home, sure enough, John is asleep. The sight of him sleeping puts a lopsided, slightly tired smile on my face.

I find myself kicking off my boots and strip nearly naked. I crumble when my knee hits the bed and fall into John.

"Im happy you're home."

I cuddle him, and shut my eyes before falling asleep wrapped in John Shelby.