Hold On

| 11 |

I called in sick to work the following morning. John was nice enough to ask me if I needed anything, but I said no, because if I said yes, dear, I want Thomas Shelby, I think he could have murdered me. Which isn't the ideal.

I remained in bed the whole day, and when John got home, he told me about his father, who showed up with Arthur. John told me that his brothers were on the way over for some drinks.

"Why don't you have drinks at the Garrison?" I calmly suggested. With John, I didn't know when I could or couldn't speak. He seemed livid, though.

"Tom's avoiding his little fuck buddy at the pub." John laughed.

"Oh." So they fuck? I chew on the inside of my cheek.

"Anyways, they're on their way over."

"Oh, okay." I said.

John was annoyed but he didn't know how to articulate that and just let it go. He didn't say a single word to me, and that made things quite awkward. I wanted to tell him he could confide in me, if he wanted to. I wish he was more open with me, or able to tell me how he was truly feeling but he wasn't. He was different, we had a conversation this morning about it.

I'm different. He said to me.

I walked over to him with a bowl of cut up fruit and a half sandwich - I was hungry as I cut the fruit and finished his other half.

"I'm sure you're famished after a long day."

"Thanks." He smiled at me.

The boys arrived an hour later. And Arthur made a joke about not walking in on John and I having sex. I looked at John to see him shift uncomfortably and wondered why he didn't explode on his brother.

Arthur was annoying, a lot of the time though. I'm sure he's just adapted to the vulgar and crude comments.

Thomas didn't say anything either, he only buried himself in the glass of whiskey poured. He was quick to pour himself another.

I was just about to leave when Thomas mentioned the empty seat by John.

"Why don't you sit down with us, ey?" His voice is groggy. Distant.

I didn't want to sit down, but John looked at me and patted the seat beside him. I walked over and decided to piss off Thomas by sitting on John's lap. I didn't allow my eyes to meet Thomas's, I put my arm around John and smiled as he looked up at me.

"Hello, honey." I said.

John kissed me in front of his brother and I fell into his kiss. Not because I wanted to kiss John, although he had soft lips, but because of the news about Grace. Ew, the idea of Thomas having a fuck buddy nauseated me. I don't wear jealousy well.

I didn't partake in the drinking. Instead, I managed to get up once the boys were talking about their father. I cleaned up the bedroom. Because, cleaning up seemed to occupy my mind. But all I could think of was Thomas fucking Grace.

John knocked on the door and entered the room. His tie was loosened, and his attitude was rather relaxed.

"Hello." He smirked.