Hold On

| 17 |

Today is my birthday, and telling John this news made me anxious. I didn't know why it made me this way, perhaps it was the fact that I was another year older than him. I'm not that type of person though, the type to feel shame that I'm married to a man much younger than myself.

I haven't celebrated my birthday since I left for England. Maybe that's why I was anxious about relaying the message to John.

Anyways, I felt like a prune. A child who had to tell their parents of something terrible they did. I felt like a fool.

"Today is my birthday." I tell John, after his two week check up at the hospital. He got the say so to take off the bandages and stop the medicine, John was ecstatic. I thought maybe the news of my birthday would be good news too.

He stopped us in the middle of the street and faced me. "Your birthday." He beams. "We need to celebrate!"

He combed a hand through my hair, and tells me he wants to take me out. John serenades me during a lavish dinner in the city's posh end that night. He wines and dines me, and when I'm tickled with enough alcohol, he carries me home where a surprise party awaits.

"Surprise!" They cheer when John carries me inside.

I notice the Shelby clan. Polly. My new friend Sarah and her husband Gerald. There's Linda, who is Arthur's very Christian girlfriend too. The best set of people a girl like me could ask for.

Quickly, drinks are poured and there is a string of music that plays throughout the house. Our home feels so full, the last time I remember feeling this way was when I was with Thomas. And every so often, I turn to Thomas to see what he's doing.

He drinks in solitude, and smiles when it's appropriate. He doesn't talk much, but he stays within the group of us.

We barely talk much, he and I. And it's not because of my feelings for John, but because John's quite literally never left my side.

We only ever share hi's and bye's at the office. Nothing more, or less. We're cordial, I guess.

"I heard today's your birthday." He said when I exited the restroom. He stood in the hallway, waiting for me.

"You heard correct." I grin, because Thomas makes me want to grin, a lot. His silly words also make me smile, because obviously it's my birthday.

"Well happy birthday, Alma."

He takes a step towards me, with his hands behind his back. He looks very innocent, and I want to kiss the smirk that plays on his face.

"Thank you, Thomas." I look down at my feet.

"Did you like the cake? John asked me to pick it up."

I blush, of course it was him who picked up the cake. He's the only one who knows I like triple chocolate cheesecake.

"What'd you wish for then?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. "World peace?"

I look around and smile. "No, I'm too selfish to spend my annual definitely-going-to-come-true wish on anything but myself."

He shakes his head, and I think he's trying to shake that smile from his beautiful face.

"Perhaps being less of a pessimist was your wish?" He suggested, and takes a step closer. "I mean, do you just like the idea having two lovers?"

I fold my arms over my chest and shake my head. "Don't be rude. And I'm not pessimist I'm a realist, I told you if I tell John he'll have my head."

He starts to open his mouth when John walks towards us.

"There you are!" He says, "Tom, Grace just got here."