Hold On

| 12 |

"I did everything I could." I whisper to myself. I look up at the doctor who stepped outside only a minute or two ago. Going over all that I did, I continue with the steps I took in an attempt to save John. "I-I put pressure on the wound, I applied as much pressure I could. I checked his vitals. They were weak, I-I preformed CPR." I swallowed and wanted to begin again before Thomas put his arm around me.

"You actually saved your husband." The doctor told me. "You kept his heart beating, despite him going through a myocardial infarction."

"Oh my God." I breathe, because this is the time I've allowed myself to breathe. "So he's alive?!"

"Yes, he's alive. He suffered a gunshot wound to the skull, and his brain needed minor surgery, as he suffered injuries but, he's, he's alive and he'll recover."

"Thank you." I let out a shriek and cover my mouth. "Oh my god, thank you." My eyes shut and I rest my head on Thomas's chest.

"Is he awake?" Arthur asks, his voice is filled with nerves. I anxiously look up at him and see his eyes water.

My throat closes.

"No, sometimes after brain surgery, the body needs sometime to heal." The doctor nods. "Again, without the help of Alma, John wouldn't be alive."

I shut my eyes and surrender to Thomas's chest. Covering my hands with my eyes, the doctor and Arthur exchange some words. Thomas walks me down the narrow hallway.

I look at the blood that covers my hands and ball my fingers into tight fists. "This isn't right."

We passed a handful of police officers and nurses mingling. God knows what that was all about.

"It's what we signed up for, Alma." Thomas tightly replies.

"This isn't right!" I turn and look at him, I ignore the fact that the police officers are able to hear us if they try hard enough. "You chose to be apart of gang for what? The power, the money and the off chance of being shot at?! I heard the amount of bullets wizzing by before it all–"

He grabbed my arm then and we turned a corner harshly. I cried out as my back hit the wall, I blinked as the pain rolled up my back.

"Keep your fuckin' mouth shut." He snapped, "You nearly lost John to the bullet to his head do you want us to be hung too?"

I press my lips together and stare into Tommy's eyes. His hands that touch my arm sends a searing pain to my fingers.

"You're hurting me." I tell him softly. "Thomas–"
A tear rolls down my cheek now.

He huffs at me, and backs off. He nearly walks away from me before coming back, pointing at finger in my face, Tommy snaps, "And you don't think you're hurting me?" He accuses me. "You could have just let him die!" He hissed, "You could have just fucking let him die, then we could have been together."

I frown, and try to sympathize, no empathize with Thomas but I fail to do so. I feel sick to my stomach. Because besides the point that I'm emotionally shattered from saving with John, my husband, comes John — Tommy's fucking brother.

"What is wrong with you?" I ask, enraged. I push my back off of the wall and walk towards him. I push my arm into his chest, "What the hell is wrong with you! Your brother is barely holding on and you!" I scoff, before concluding. "All you can think about is us? Do you think I'm that obsessed with you that I'm blinded by my morals? Before I'm your whore, I am his wife!"

He grabs my arm and I react by slapping him, hard. He deserved it, trying to use his strength to hurt me. The bastard deserved it, and I could feel John snickering. Serves him right.