From Across the Court - Atsuhina Fanfic

10

Hinata POV
I had no idea where he was taking me or even why I was following him but I guess I wanted to apologise to him as well.

We were silent the whole way there.
Soon we were going up the staircase and up to the roof.

I stood at the edge and looked out to the city he did the same from afar.

It was pretty; I'd often come up here in the night myself.

"Hinata" Kageyama says firmly.

I look to my side and I didn't even realise he was standing so close to me.

We faced each other and I waited for him to talk.

"I'm sorry" he said

"Kageyama..." I started "You don't need to apologise-"

"Yes I do! I acted like a prick and I don't want you to hate me for it."

"I don't hate you. Actually I wanted to apologise as well"

"You wanted to apologise? For what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't notice you were taking me seriously. With my relationship with Atsumu and all. I don't even know what's going to happen and I'm sorry for not-"

"You don't need to apologise for anything. You're not the one who gave me a concussion"

"An extremely minor concussion. I can even start playing again tomorrow so I don't see what the big deal is"

"It is a big deal. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. That's all"

"And so you woke me up in the middle of the night?"

"Shut up dumbass I didn't think this far ahead"

I just giggled at him.

Between the two of us there's been so much tension that I didn't think we could be like we used to ever again.

In that moment everything was fine; everything was normal.

We were back to normal.
The way it used to be.

That soon faded when Kageyama broke the settling silence with a, "How do you feel about Astumu anyways"

I turn red.

"Do we have to talk about him?"

"We're gonna have to eventually. You shouldn't let him take advantage of you"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't even try to convince me that you're the one who made the first move"

"Making the first move isn't the same thing as taking advantage"

"Maybe not but there are other factors"

"What do you know anything about it anyway? What were you waiting to see if he'd make a wrong move?"

"I don't want to see you get hurt, especially from a guy like Atsumu"

"I'm not going to get hurt. I know what I'm doing"

"You know it really sucks seeing the two of you together"

I turn to look at him.
He's doesn't look back.

"I always thought I'd be the first one to make a move on you"

I feel myself turn pink as his eyes meet mine and we're looking at each other in complete confusion.

"I always thought I'd be your first kiss" he continues, walking closer to me.

My feet want to move, to run away or at least step back, but it was as if they were cemented to the ground.

"I always thought I could talk to you the way he does. To look at you the way he does" by now he's millimetres away from me and I can do nothing but look at him trembling.

"I always wished I could do this"

I feel myself wanting to cry as he places his lips on mine.

I can feel his breath as he leans down more.

I don't know what to do.
I don't know what I want.

He pulls away and places his forehead on mine. Tears stream down my face as he says, "I'm sorry for not doing it sooner"

He leaves and closes the roof door and I stand there in complete emotions.

I'm confused.
I'm sad.
I'm really fucking happy.
But I'm also devastated.

My mind is telling me to cry but my body's not letting me.

I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to feel.

A part of me wants to jump off of this building right now, all of my confusion finally ending by doing what I've done my whole life; jumping.

But a part of me wants more. A part of me wants to see how far I can go.

I want to experience love.
To experience touch.
To experience what I never got.

I want to laugh with someone.
I want to cry with someone.
I want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be alright.

But I don't know who I want.
I don't know who can give it to me.

I don't know who I can love the same way someone loves me.

But most importantly I don't want to be afraid of love anymore...

TO BE CONTINUED...