The Art of Starting Over

Chapter 31 - The Waiting Room

My leg twitched uncontrollably. I checked my phone. It was almost two-thirty p.m. Three hours. The nurse had said the procedure took about three hours. It had been three hours and twenty minutes.

I got up and started pacing around the green waiting area, tracing the perimeter of the room. Twice. Three times. I sat down opposite the lifts and waited. I checked my phone. Two thirty-four. Two thirty-four and no messages. No calls. Nothing.

The door of the Gynae ward opened and two young nurses walked out. One of them was Romina, Millie's nurse. I stood up.

"I'm sorry, qalbi, they haven't called us yet," Romina said.

It was like someone had punctured my heart with a safety pin. "But is everything okay?"

The lift arrived and the other nurse stepped in to hold it. 

"I should think so. They would tell us if something went wrong," Romina answered kindly. "It hasn't been that long, qalbi. There's no reason for you to worry. They wouldn't have started the procedure immediately. And she has to spend about another hour in the Recovery Room after they wake her. We can't bring her up before she's fully recovered from the anaesthetic."

I looked blankly at her. I knew she was right, but I was worried. I wanted to know she was okay.

"Okay," I nodded. "Sorry for keeping you."

Romina smiled at me and joined her friend in the elevator. I checked my phone again. Two thirty-six. No texts. No calls.

I plopped myself on the chair again and as soon as I did, my phone began to vibrate. I answered it without even checking who it was.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ally, is Mills ready?" Sosa's voice said.

My heart dropped a good few inches from its original position. I felt like crying. I put my face in my hands, trying to keep it together. 

"No," I answered. "I just spoke to her nurse and she said there's nothing to worry about. It's normal that it takes this long."

I heard her sigh at the other end. "Okay. Well, I'm leaving home now. I'll be there very soon, okay?"

I shook my head and put my phone down for a second. I really appreciated Sosa's support through all this, but I wasn't in a state to be around people. I couldn't bear to sit still, and I got dizzy as soon as I stood up. My tummy was rumbling with hunger, and yet the thought of food made me sick. I was scared to wait here by myself, but I was really not in the mood to talk to anyone. I heard Sosa's voice asking if I was still on the line. I looked at the screen. No new messages.

"Okay," I said finally into the phone. "I'll see you soon."

The doors of the lift opened and Romina and her colleague appeared with their lunches in hand. They smiled kindly as they walked past me and back to the ward. I started pacing again, but no matter how many laps I did, it wasn't enough to outrace the thoughts in my head.

He hadn't called. He hadn't answered my texts. He hadn't talked to me at all. Not on the way home. Not when he dropped me off at the end of the alley. I myself couldn't even breathe out his name, let alone speak. My chest was still bruised from hearing the car roar off as soon as I closed the door. And he hadn't replied later when I texted him after staring at my bedroom ceiling for a whole hour, my brain numb and neurotic at the same time.

'What if something happened to him?' that nasty voice in my head hissed. There had been no drifting, no wild stunts on our way back from the beach, but he hadn't stopped at the red light either. He hadn't checked mirrors or blind spots. He hadn't taken his eyes off the road at all.