The Art of Starting Over

Chapter 40 - Reunions and Feuds

I force myself to sit down and cross my legs to stop them from twitching nervously, maybe the beady eyes of the woman sitting opposite me will stop following me. It's the waiting area of the Accident and Emergency Department for God's sake! People are supposed to be anxious.

The clock on the wall says it's just turned nine o'clock. I dive into my bag for my phone even though I'm certain I don't have any new messages or calls. Keith finished his shift at three in the morning so he'll be asleep and Sosa is still off the radar. I don't know if she's even seeing my messages. And I highly doubt that...

"Ally!"

I look up frantically at the sound of his familiar voice, terrified and relieved at the same time. Jeremy rushes through the busy waiting room and heads purposefully towards me. He takes the seat next to mine, grabs my shoulders and looks me up and down with wary eyes. I stare back at him as his hands run up and down my arms, unsure of how to behave after yesterday's fiasco. He takes off his blazer and wraps it around me.

"Christ, Ally, you're shaking," he says, rubbing my arms soothingly. "I got your message. What happened?"

I feel my lip quiver as I take in his face, conscious of how long it's been since we've been together like this, on the same team. The genuine concern in his eyes reminds me of the Jeremy who was mine, the one who was always there for me, even when I didn't want him to be, and it all comes flooding back. How I trusted him, how we used to talk and argue about everything and nothing at all, how I would bare my soul to him without thinking twice, forgetting about his age, his status and all the rubbish people said about him.

What the hell happened?

"I don't know what happened," I finally breathe out. "I have no idea what's going on, Jeremy, I..."

I try to recall the events of this morning, but the past hour has been one big blur. Hot tears drench my face and I exhale, trying in vain to slow down the rush in my head.

Jeremy takes my face in his hands, his thumbs wiping away at my wet cheeks and directs my face upwards to be level with his, fixing his eyes on me, giving me a focus point. I breathe him in, his familiar scowl, his determined eyes, his warm, spicy scent, and my heart rate slows down. I open my mouth and will the words to come out slowly, one by one.

"I got up for work and I... I..." I swallow to relieve my dry mouth. "I heard retching noises so I... I ran downstairs and opened the bathroom door and... Oh, God! There was so much blood on the floor, Jer! And on her hands and her clothes and..."

My eyes drift away as the horrific scene replays in my head, but he directs my face to him again. His grip intensifies and it brings me back to focus. "Breathe."

"She was white as a sheet," I go on, concentrating on his attentive pupils. "She lifted her eyes towards me and they were... and then she passed out. She wouldn't come around. I tried wetting her face and calling her name and I turned her on her side like my dad used to do whenever mum had a seizure. But she wouldn't come around. So, I called the ambulance. And then the nurses came and they carried her out. She opened her eyes in the ambulance but she was weak and confused and... I don't know what's going on now! They wheeled her in and told me to wait here and... oh, Jeremy, I... I..."

"Shh... okay, it's okay, Ally. Breathe. Just breathe. That's it."

He puts his arms around me and I bury my face in his chest, sobbing frantically. I listen to his lulling voice as he rocks me forward and backwards like a child. Finally, I push him back and look up into his face.

"This has to stop," I say firmly, tears still falling relentlessly. "I'm sorry. It's affecting her and... You should have seen her last night after you left. She was so worried." Jeremy looks back at me confused, brows furrowed, lips tight again but I go on. "I know you're my boss and I respect that. And I'm sorry if I crossed the line with you or whatever it was that I did wrong. I'm sorry, Jer! I swear, I didn't mean to complicate things. I get it if you don't want to be friends but can we just pretend to be civil towards one another? Please? For Millie?"