Hurts so Good [✓]

CHAPTER 4

Chapter 4

Hurts so Good

selimwarrior

Savi.

Is he awake? Why is he hugging me? I can hear my own heartbeat and how conscious I am while I'm this close to him!

"Deus..." I called his name and caressed his cheek.

He suddenly groaned and that made me look on his slightly opened mouth.

"I love you." He muttered.

Napalunok ako sa narinig ko. What the hell? Tulog si Deus and I know he's not even on his consciousness to say those words at me but why I found my cheeks burning because of it?

"I'm Savi. I know those words aren't for me but that made me happy, Deus." I silently said as I closed my eyes and kissed him.

I found myself stealing kisses again. I was about to pull myself from the kiss when he grabs me and deepened the kiss. I gasped and I let him.

I thought it will only last for seconds but I was wrong, the kiss went deeper and I can feel his hands on my body. Even his lips went down on my neck.

"Deus..."

"Hmm? Just give in."

What is this? What should I do? This is wrong. I want to push him but I can't. My own body is moving on it's own. Maaalala pa kaya niya itong mangyayari ngayon? Is he even aware that he's kissing his most hated person?

But instead of thinking too much, I just let him just like what I always do.

This night, is this a dream? If it is, I want to wake up and make this real. I want to remember how Deus holds me like his holding a delicate person in his arms. I just feel like he won't be able to hurt me again.

I found myself crying after it happened. I bit my lips. I'm trembling and my body hurts a lot but my feelings are too overwhelming that half of it feels like a dream and half is like a reality that slaps me the truth that this happened just because Deus is drunk.

Dahan-dahan akong bumangon sa kama at isinuot ang damit ko. Natigilan ako nang bahagyang gumalaw si Deus mula sa pagkakahiga nito.

"L-Leana..."

If saying that name can kill, I'm already dead right now. My body hurts and my heart is being shattered. This night should be precious for me but I guess I dragged myself on hell.

This should be my punishment for not giving up my love for him. This should be my punishment for not obeying my family's advice. There's no time to regret. It hurts but I will lie if I don't say that I didn't enjoy doing a mistake over and over again for him.

Nang matapos akong magdamit ay umupo muli ako sa kama at tinitigan si Deus. He's sleeping peacefully.

Could you please remember that it was me? It's not Leana. It's Savi.

Nangilid ang luha sa mga mata ko. Idinikit ko ang noo ko sa noo niya bago ko siya hinalikan sa huling pagkakataon at umalis na.

Malapit na mag-alas sais ng umaga. Habang nagmamaneho ako pauwi ay hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon parang ito na ata iyong pinakamasakit sa lahat ng dinanas ko dahil sa nararamdaman ko kay Deus.

Kahit na masakit pinilit kong tingnan ang positibo, At least Deus was my first in everything. They might call me slut but I only give myself for a one man.

Dumating ako sa bahay at dumeretso sa CR para maligo. I just want to wash his smell over my body. It's addicting and it reminds me of pain so I better wash it off.