Stay Strong: The Diaries of a Cutter. (On Hold!)

~Mayra~

~Mayra~

Y’know little Miss popular? That used to be me. I used to be queen bee but that’s in the past.

Nobody knows how hard it is to go from being at the top to being at the bottom. I’ve tried everything to get back to where I once was but that’s not ever going to happen. I’m a loser, the loser who was kicked off the cheer squad. I can’t believe they kicked me off.

I guess you’re wondering why I went from the top to the bottom. Well it’s a long story. And it starts with a silly boy named Chick, well Charles. He is the one who began my downward spiral in the ninth grade. He was the new guy at school, he liked me, I liked him. We dated. But when I let him in my pants he got me pregnant. I was fourteen. Before I turned fifteen I had a beautiful baby boy named Mikey.

I dealt with anorexia the entire pregnancy. I thought I was fat and no body liked me. I didn’t go to school until I was six months along, everybody believed I had cheated on Charles because that’s what they told them. I started hating him then. He’s not apart of Mikey’s life which is good because my son doesn’t need that kind of role model.

I was compulsively exercising after I had him but that didn’t do anything so I started bingeing. I purged and binged for a couple moths to keep people from worrying but I just stopped eating entirely.

My dad isn’t always there; he’s really busy with work. My mom isn’t apart of my life, she left when I was four. My step-mom, Quinn has been my mom and dad for twelve years. She’s the one sending me to Ocean View to get better for the sake of Mikey. I don’t want to get fat but I want to make sure Mikey doesn’t go down the same road so I’m going to learn to keep my son from being anorexic.

I’m Mayra Force, I’m sixteen. I’m from New York. I’m a mom and I suffer from anorexia and bulimia.