Hard To Love Again..

12. One Step

Charlene paced back and forth in her room, her mind was running faster than her legs. It was an understatement to say that she was nervous and stressed. She didn't know what to do, so she kept on pacing with number of thoughts coming in her mind..
It was decided by the therapist that she would take her initial sessions on video call, until Charlene is comfortable to meeting in person.
A while back Loki showed her a video message.. It was from her therapist, Jennifer Rodrigues.
It was indeed kind of her to send a video message for Charlene, in order to introduce herself to her, before having the first interaction with her..
She seemed to be kind and very friendly.. She introduced herself and mainly talked about herself in the video, and also that she is looking forward to have a chat with her.
Charlene couldn't help but faintly smile at the screen when the therapist was talking and smiling in a kind manner at the camera. She didnt remember everything she said, but she made her feel that she understands and things will be okay.

But as the appointment date was approaching, she could feel panic in her chest. It wasn't easy at all. Though after seeing that video message, she felt better, but when the thoughts about actually speaking to her plagued her mind, it made her more anxious..

She paced around more for a while and then plopped on the bed. Rubbing her hands over her tired face, she decided to sleep to stop thinking about it for now.. She curled her body in a fetal position and covered her face with the blanket frustratingly..

Things will be alright.. It eventually will, wouldn't they?

______________

Loki was checking some data on his laptop, in a half-sitting position on his bed. He looked at the laptop screen in deep concentration, his hand placed over his chin. He was alerted and his brows furrowed suddenly as he shifted his attention from the screen towards his closed door..
He had noticed a shadow near the door which he ignored at first, but was alerted when it moved very slightly..
He got up and walked towards the door, and opened it slowly..
Charlene stood there, her body was shaking and her eyes were disoriented. She looked confused and petrified, while beads of sweat covered her face and neck, she gulped a little, and it looked like she wanted to say something but she couldn't.

"Char?"

Loki broke the silence at last, his voice was filled with worry.

How long have you been standing here?

He thought in his mind but didn't say it out loud.

It was evident to Loki that she had suffered from nightmare or flashback, which explained her appearance..
Her trembling hand reached to brush his hand slightly as though to make sure he was real. He tried to hold her hand but she pulled it away before he could do that.
She stared at him, still in a confused gaze and tried to say something hesitatingly..

"I.. I-I couldn't sleep.."

Her face scrunched up, after she realised how hoarse her voice sounded, while at the same time tears shone in her eyes and she quickly looked down and picked on her still trembling hands..

She looked away awkwardly, regretting her actions..
She thought it would have been better if she dealt with it herself like always.

She cleared her throat,
"I'll just go.. and try to sleep.. It's already too late, anyway"
She said hesitantly and turned towards her room..

"Wait!", He said immediately.. She paused and turned back,
"I couldn't sleep either.. Why don't you come in?", he ended with a small friendly smile..

She didn't argued and slowly followed him in, her body was still shaking and her face was still shocked, while her gaze were downcast.
He arranged the pillow near the headboard of his bed, and motioned for her to sit..
She hesitantly sat on the bed and looked around his room, while Loki sat beside her from the other side.