Hard To Love Again..

4. Not Your Fault

When he examined her wounds, they looked exactly the same as before. In addition to it, there were some new scratches and one deep cut near her rib cage... She may have been hurt when she had the nightmare and hid in the cabinet, out of panic, he thought... His features turned grim, how stupid of him to hope that her injuries would have got better.. Her body was too thin and weak for her to even heal at a normal pace..
He applied disinfectant on her wounds.. His hand came to halt when he heard her hiss lightly, as he cleaned the fresh cuts...
He resumed cleaning her wounds after mumbling an apology...

Tears kept streaming down her face as she sat very still, on the chair sideways, facing her back to the right armrest of the chair... Loki knelt behind her, as he carefully cleaned and tended to her wounds...
She cried without making any sound. Pressing her lips tightly against eachother, suppressing each sob, hoping Loki wouldn't hear...
She wasn't just crying because of the physical pain.. Though she was away from her abuser, she still couldn't escape him... She was reminded every second by her own mind, each and every moment of torture she endured... She was unsure she could ever forget it and live normally...
Her body jerked slightly from time to time with her suppressed sobs and hiccups... Her breath shuddered and all the muscles in her stomach ached, as she kept crying bitterly...

Loki clearly knew she was crying, but seeing her trying so hard, to hide her tears from him, he pretended to not notice it completely ..
His heart ached with her every suppressed sob.. His moist eyes held all the pain he felt for her.

Watching a loved one in pain and unable to do anything about it, is the worst kind of suffering one could ever experience..

After he was done, he slowly pulled her shirt down.. He got up and silently went towards the kitchen counter to prepare breakfast... He wiped away his tears from his sleeve, with a quick movement of his upper arm...
He prepared some omelettes and laid the plates on the table, keeping one infront of her.
He gestured towards the plate,
"Eat.."
Charlene looked down at the plate.. Not that the omlette wasn't good but she really didn't feel like eating anything... Her stomach churned and she felt like throwing up.. Her mind became completely numb after having flashbacks of all the things she went through and she sat there very still..
"Char, you have to eat something so that you can heal quickly, right?"
He said in a soft tone, as if negotiating with a child...
With her gaze still downwards, she nodded her head.. She found it unable to answer him negatively, as if unconsciously expecting a bad outcome.
She swallowed the lump in her throat in an attempt to suppress the urge to puke.. She slowly reached towards the fork and held it in her hand shakily... Her breathing got unsteady with the discomfort she felt and she fought back a gag reflex..
Thats when he swiftly grabbed the fork, putting it away...
"Are you feeling nauseous?", He inquired...
She looked at him helplessly, confusion and fear filled in her eyes..
Loki furrowed his brows in bewilderment.. If she wasn't feeling good, she could have told him. What made her so hesitant and scared?, he thought...
When she kept looking at him with those eyes filled with uncertainty, unable to decide what to answer..
He sighed,
"Char.. Its okay... Tell me if you don't feel alright... "
He tried to hide his slight annoyance in his tone..
She made a sound from her throat, as if still confused and trying to contemplate..
He slowly pulled the plate back, away from her ...
"I'll be back in a minute", he stated and proceeded towards the counter..
He got back after sometime, with a steaming hot mug in his hand.. He carefully placed it on the table near her..
"Drink it. You'll feel better..", he smiled softly at her...
"And, careful.. It's very hot", he added...
She took her time in holding the mug carefully with both her hands... She brought it closer to her mouth, and smelled ginger, lemon and some other herbs with mint flavour.. The aroma itself was refreshing... She instinctively closed her eyes, relaxing herself... She tried to take a sip, and her head jerked back instantly as the hot liquid burned her lips... Loki quickly took the mug from her hands..
"I told you it's very hot, didn't I?", He said with a hint of irritation, only because he didn't like her getting hurt again...
Then quickly he changed his tone, making it softer,
"It's alright.. Are you okay?"
He cringed at his own dual temperament..
Meanwhile, wiping near her mouth with a napkin... He placed a glass of water near her...
She nodded, looking at him, signalling that she is okay...