Always, It's You

Chapter 15

The silver moon was crawling its way down to the horizon. The sky was sparkling with the millions of shredded pieces of diamonds like twinkling stars. The clear dark sky was invaded from time to time by the intruder clouds running its lifetime race with the northern wind towards who knows where.

Taehyung was sitting on the floor in front of his window. It was cold, but he didn't bother to shut the window.

The wall he was leaning on felt cold and rough, the floor was smooth, the room was cozy,
yet he was feeling empty like he felt when all of these were mere daydreams.

He hugged his knees keeping his head on them. The cold breeze made a shiver going down his spine.

He wasn't thinking clearly. He couldn't. He was immersed in thousands of random thoughts.

Days were tiring, D day for the starting of their world tour was near, everybody was practicing their hearts out.

He doesn't really notice where the days come and go these days. Time was being ignored lately by everybody. But, these nights, these were something else.

Taehyung looked at the moon. It was not silver anymore. The yellowish beam was clouding its shine, it was losing its glow as it was descending further. Every single soul was in deep slumber at this hour of the night. He sighed.

Depression?
No, he couldn't tell what he feels on these unbearable nights. It was killing him inside. Insecurities?
Not being able to fit in?
Not belonging to anywhere?
Being tired of putting a mask on every single time?

In these times, he tried to run away many times, tried to quit, tried to scream his heart out like there was no tomorrow.

But all he did was to immerse into some games on his PlayStation, playing hard rock in his headphone to their highest volume.

There were nights when he cried, trapping himself in the bathroom.

Sometimes he just wants everything to be like before they were famous when they were struggling when they cried together and held only each other.

He wanted to go past the limelight when he could go out for a walk in the middle of nights, have a meal with any stranger in a small roadside cafe, go back to being himself, not being under the microscope every single second.

Sometimes he just wished someone to hold his hands in his darkest time.

The guys are always there, but at the end of the day, aren't all of them a lonely island surrounded by their sea of insecurities and shadows??

Sometimes he wanted to be there for somebody, he wanted somebody to be there for him. He wanted to walk down the autumn forest holding someone's hand leaving everything behind for a day.

He wanted a normal life. He wished.

He got up and came out of his room.

Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok were still at the studio. Working their ass off for another rap line special.
Jimin was probably finally sleeping after his never-ending unsatisfied rehearsals.

He stood there for some time.

Jin isn't a deep sleeper.

"Tae?" his sluggish voice came from the bed when Taehyung entered the room.
Teahyung didn't answer. He went towards Jin and just stood there.

"Bad dream?" Jin asked.

"Hyung, can I sleep with you?" Taehyung asked.

"C'mere" Jin patted the place beside him.

Taehyung went under the sheet beside him.
Jin caressed Taehyung's face, "what is it, kid?"

Taehyung snuggled up to Jin's chest.
Jin just held him tightly and let his shirt get wet with the tears of his younger. He held his younger as his body curled into balls and shook with every soft sob.

He knew what makes this boy cry, what breaks him, what scratches him.

He kissed the top of his head, "Ssshh......its ok, hyung got you."