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Chapter 1



    “Mom, I can’t just sit here and let him hit you anymore,” my fifteen year old son, Matthew said.



I have been with my husband, Seth Whitman, for sixteen years. When I found out I was pregnant with my twins, Matty and Dani, my then boyfriend was making his way into the mixed martial arts and when his manager, Tobias Franklin, found out about it, he would hear nothing of telling Jason about my predicament. When Seth found out of my situation, he didn’t hesitate to take me in and take care of me. We got married and moved away shortly after and we promised our love for each other. I guess you can say that I didn’t love him as much as I loved the twins father but he loved me. Little did I know that as soon as the babies were born, my life would change.

The first time Seth ever laid a hand on me was right after the twins turned six days old. I was having a hard time after my cesarean section and when the babies woke up during the night, I had difficulty getting up. I had to wake Seth to help me out of bed and once I got the babies back to sleep and walked back to our room, he slapped me across the face. I just brushed it off because he was agitated after a long day at work and then to be woken by not one, but two crying babies. It was hard on me so I could only imagine how he felt.

After the first time he slapped me, it didn’t happen again for a few months. Once again, I found myself defending him because his parents were after him about going back to school. They weren’t to fond over the fact that Seth quit school to go to work to support me and the kids. He came home from work and I smelt the alcohol on him and I asked where he got it because at this point, even at age nineteen, he was to young to get it himself. He didn’t take to kindly that I asked and I became fast friends with a wall.

As the years went on and the kids got older, even welcoming a little sister, they started becoming more the wiser and just wanted me to get us away from him. I wanted that, not only for myself but for my children. Seth has never laid a hand on any one of them but who’s to say, he won’t.



    “Matty, I’ll be okay. You just look out for your sisters.”
    “Mom, I agree with Matty. It’s not right that daddy is doing this to you,” my daughter Dani, said.
    “He’s not our father, Dani,” Matty said.
    “And what gave you that idea, young man?” I asked.
    “I’ve know for quite sometime that Seth Whitman isn’t my father.”
    “Matty, watch what you say. You know that when your father comes home, he’ll know something is up. And as to your comment about just sitting around, I’ve got something up my sleeve,” I told them and continued washing dishes and cooking supper.
    “Well,” he said.
    “Well what?” I asked.
    “Mom!”
    “I don’t know when it’ll happen or how it’ll happen but when it does, I need you two to be ready. Have two bags a piece ready to go and get what you absolutely have to have because once we’re gone, we’re gone.”
    “So, how soon should we have said bags packed?” Dani asked.
    “As soon as possible without letting your father suspect anything.”
    “He’s not our father,” Matty growled.
    “And just who do you think is your father?” I asked.
    “Jason Ryder,” he answered confidently, causing me to choke on the water I was drinking.
    “And just how do you know who Jason Ryder is?”
    “Oh please, mom. It’s not like he’s not one of the biggest MMA fighters out there. And see, you didn’t deny it. After all, you all are from the same area,” he said, finishing with a smirk that matched Jason’s.
    “How do you know that we’re from the same area? I don’t remember him growing up,” I said, hoping that he would believe it.
    “Mom, you all went to the same high school. And I heard him say in an old interview that he had to thank his first love, Melissa, for encouraging him to fight for what he wanted..”
    “Matty, there were more than one Melissa in that area,” I said.
    “Mom, I’ve seen pictures from about ten years ago and I look just like him. Oh and you named Dani after him.”



It was true that I named my daughter after him. His middle name is Daniel and I knew that as soon as I was having a girl, I would name her Danielle. I decided that I would just turn on my heel in hopes that if I just ignored him, he would drop it. No such luck and he hounded me about it until I heard Seth pull into the driveway. I hurried to finish up supper as Seth walked in and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek.



    “How was your day?” I asked.
    “You know but now I’m home and I want you, Melissa,” he said, kissing my neck.
    “Seth, I can’t leave the food to burn,” I told him.
    “Well, get Matt or Dani in here to cook. I want my dessert before the main course.”
    “Seth, let me finish cooking and then we’ll go have dessert,” I said, trying to keep him calm. It would be my luck that he took it the wrong way.



Just when I thought that he was going to take my suggestion and go change clothes, he grabbed a handful of my hair, twisted it and yanked me backwards and through the hall, into our room. I couldn’t help the yelp of pain that I let out and I immediately clasped my hand over my mouth. I knew that I would get smacked in the mouth or something because even though it hurt, I was not to let it be known. Especially since we lived in a duplex. He didn’t care to slap me around but our neighbors were not to hear anything. 

Half an hour later, I was pulling my clothes back on while Seth was taking a shower. I held my head in shame as I walked through the living room and into the kitchen. Savannah was sitting in front of the television watching Spongebob with unshed tears in her eyes. When I walked into the kitchen, Dani was standing at the stove and Matty was at the table, his jaw clenched shut. No one said anything because we heard Seth walking through the hallway.



    “Savannah, come on in here. Mommy will have dinner ready in a few minutes,” he said, walking into the kitchen.

    “Okay daddy,” she said, her little voice breaking.

    “Matthew, how was school?” he asked.

    “Another day,” Matt answered.

    “Dani, how about you?”

    “Same. Passed my math test,” she said. Seth beamed at her.

    “My daughter is miss smarty pants.”

    “I’m proud of you, honey,” I smiled at her.



Dinner was a quiet affair. I would look around the table at my kids and each wore the same look, with the exception of Matt. His look was a lot more intense. I knew he wanted to say something but he knew better because I would suffer the consequences. I looked at both of my girls and realized how much Savannah favored Danielle. She was like a spitting image when Dani was that age. I silently thanked God that she didn’t look like Seth.

After dinner was finished, Seth went into the living room as per his usual. Told Dani to bring him a beer and to go start Savannah’s bath. I was in the kitchen with Matt while he pretended that he had homework. He still didn’t sat anything but the minute we knew Seth was distracted by the TV, he crossed the floor and grabbed my face.

He was staring at my face and assessing the new cuts and bruises. I watched my son’s face and saw the twitch that he would get in his temple. I remember Jason doing the same exact thing when something set him off. As Matty stared at me, I was finally taking a good look at his features. Why did it take nearly sixteen years for me to realize how much he favored Jason Ryder? Sometimes I couldn’t help but think that’s half the reason Seth started treating me the way he did. As far as hee knows, Matt and Dani thinks that he’s their father and I wanted him to keep thinking that.



    “Did he rape you this time?” Matty asked, whispering.
    “Matty, you ask me that question every time it happens. What do you think my answer is going to be?”
    “Mom!”
    “Shh. do you want him to come in here and start asking questions? I know I don’t, especially not after what i went through.”
    “Mom, if you don’t get us out soon, I’m going to resort to my own methods,” he whispered, harshly. I cupped his face in my hands and looked him in the eye.
    “You tell Dani to start getting her things ready after your fa... after he goes to sleep. It can’t be tonight but I need you all ready. It might be while you all are at school.”
    “The sooner the better, mom. I can’t take to much more.”
    “You remind me so much of Jason, it’s not funny,” I said, smiling. He looked at me through squinted eyes.
    “Are you finally admitting who my real dad is?” he asked.
    “You already knew. There’s nothing to admit now,” I smiled. “You go finish faking your homework and I’ll finish cleaning the kitchen.”



At ten o’clock, it was time for the older kids to go to bed. They walked into the kitchen where I was having a cup of tea and said goodnight. After Dani turned her back, I caught Matty’s eye and winked at him. He nodded and headed to his room. I knew he would tell Dani to get her things packed but they would wait until Seth went to bed.

When the clock turn eleven, I placed my cup in the sink and walked through to our room. I peeked in at the kids as I walked through. I stopped at the girls room first and saw Savannah fast asleep and then looked at Dani and saw that she was trying to keep her breathing regulated as if she were asleep. When I stopped by Matt’s room, there was no hiding that he was awake because he stared right at me when I opened the door.



    “Get some sleep, Matty. I love you.”
    “Love you, mom.”



As I sat on the bed after dressing into my gown and waited for Seth to come to bed. It wouldn’t be to long before he would come in and I just hoped and prayed that he would fall asleep soon so it would give the kids a some time to throw things together. When he finally did come to bed, he stripped out of his jeans and threw his shirt across the chair. He pulled the blanket and sheet back and climbed in.



    “Have I told you lately that I love you?” he asked.
    “I love you to,” I said, trying not to choke.
    “Let’s get some sleep,” he said, patting my side of the bed.



I climbed in and pulled the blanket around me and tried not to puke when I felt his arms wrap around me. My insides were shaking with disgust. Not only at him but mainly at me, for putting up with it for so long. For subjecting my children to this life and not getting them out of it sooner. I don’t regret my little Savannah but I wish that I had not listened to Tobias and I would probably be happy, instead of the hell I’m living through now.


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Okay... so what do we think???

This is a story that’s been on my mind for awhile. I actually even started writing it a long time ago and since I’ve just wrapped up Breaking Away, I wanted to start on this one.

I’m not completely sure if I’m happy with the title but it’s sticking for now.

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Hope to hear some positive things about this.

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