AREEZAH✔️

° Antisocial °

°•°•°•°•°•°
I'm laying flat on my bed, my eyes closed but not really sleeping. I woke up few minutes ago just reminiscing about my life generally. I have to wake-up because I know the kind of woman my mother is. She hates anything pertaining to laziness. Besides, my morning prayer time has already passed and it's so unusual of me to wake up late.

I forced my heavy eyes open and all I could see was dark, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I found my hand switching on the lamp on my bedside. The light flashed through the entire room which hurt my eyes a little as they are not use to it. My vision was blurry and my hand again went to the bedside to find my medicated glasses and put them on. I had eye problem since when I was like six years old, I've been wearing glasses since. My siblings always made fun of me, the glasses were pretty much big for my face but I love them like that. they'd sometimes say that I look weird and would laugh their asses off till my mum scold them. I wasn't offended though, I didn't really care about how someone sees me or think of me.

I got up sluggishly into the bathroom and did my business. When I was done I sprayed my prayer mat and did my Nafilat first then my subhi prayer. After my sallah, I prayed to the Almighty Allah and ask for my heart desires. I prayed for my family and friends, myself and everything I could think of at that moment. Shortly, I heard a soft knock on my door followed by a salaam.

"WA'allaikumu salaam." I replied already propped up on my feet and folding my prayer mat neatly. My sister's face popped up. Her heavy makeup was already visible, Aminah was known for her lavishing lifestyle. Although she was modest, she's anything you can call an aspiring model. She's not yet one, but she's hopping to become one. My mother didn't really ponder over it as Aminah has one time mentioned that she wants to be a model. My moms thinking up till now is that she's just a teenager that doesn't exactly know what to become in life, in her own opinion, with time Aminah will choose something else. So she let her do whatever she likes pending to the time she'll be serious. Me of course, knows very well that Aminah has this zeal since when she was a toddler she loves anything pertaining to styles and posses, modelling in general. I knew she's going to do good in that field but I'm not sure how our parents will take it. I've always tried to caution her on the way she dresses up so as not to get used to it. She's just 16.

"Ya Areezah, it's a Saturday and you haven't even taken your bath!! Ya illahi when will we get there!?" her face was in panic and I sighed. I'm not a social person. Count me out on outings and anything to interact with humans. It's safe to say that I'm an introvert.

"please, it's also too early to raise your voice I'm sure the wires in my brain are still sleeping." I kept the folded prayer mat on its position and moved to my bed planning to go for round two. Yes sleep.

"haba mana. You want to sleep again?" Her words were that of disappointment but I didn't really care. The wedding can take place without me, I'm not gonna contribute to anything anyways.

"Aminah you can go to the function without me. Tell the driver to take you and others, it must not necessarily be with me." I retorted.

"But_"

"it's okay now Aminah go wait for Areezah down stairs she'll meet you there."my mum cutt her off and I groaned. I already knew I was going to attend this so called wedding.

"go change and meet us downstairs." My mum said curtly. Hajiya Fatima doesn't joke with her kids. Being a business woman has rubbed off on her, her attitude has always been that of seriousness. She has never failed to provide anything for us. The problem is that she never has our time. She spends almost her entire life at work. Morning, day and night. She comes back by midnight. She has a production company of shoes. That alone is stressful, she also manages a quite large shop close to the same company.

Our Dad passed away two years back. It has taken a toll on all of us in our Family. I was in senior secondary school one when the news reached me in our school. I couldn't decipher the pain I felt at that moment, is it the fact that I'm not going to see my Dad anymore or the things we've dreamt to do together. I had a very strong bond with my Dad. I don't think I can ever trust any other male in my life apart from him. He was so understanding, gentle and kind. You'll never know if my Dad is angry or not, he was always smiling.

I zoned back to present as my mum shut the door to my room. I started thinking of what would really happen in the so called wedding.

I'm sad.

I know it's weird and maybe it doesn't feel right but I don't want humans. I just don't go well with humans. My family members might care about me quite alright but despite that I always feel unwanted. I most especially hate getting attached and the person ends up leaving me, it has shattered me before and I don't want that to ever happen to me again. Ever. So I feel like its better if I just stay on my own, no me, no human and it's very comfortable for me.

But given that we are Nupes and we can never run out of ceremonies. It's almost impossible for me to miss a function but school has always saved my life. I use the excuse of studying to discard the idea of going out. It has always worked but now, we are on holidays. Surspringly there wasn't any function since the start of holiday till now that it's about to end. I occupied myself at home by sleeping, eating and reading. Sometimes my phone helps too.

I run through all the possible excuse I could think of in my mind but I got none so I just got up and dressed. I settled on a flowing Abaya and gele. Leave me out of makeup please.

I doubt if anyone would ever read the story of my life if it were to be a novel. It's just so boring and plain.

I trudged down the stairs and met others. Aminah with her powder applying whatever. Ikhsaan with his phone probably playing games and Imaan watching her favorite Spongebob Squarepants movie. Ikhsan is the man of the house, as our Dad has always called him. He always feel superior to others seeing that he's the only male in the Family. Despite being just 12, he's also clever and respects his elders alot.
Imaan is the last born and my baby. I don't think I can ever love a kid just the way I love Imaan. She is the exact replica of our Dad, she was just born a female. My baby has always topped her class and is nice to everyone, I'm surprised she didn't act wayward just as Aminah and Ikhsan did while growing up.

"Ya Areezah! Can you tell mum that I don't wanna go to the wedding?" Imaan's eyes were hopefully staring at me expectantly. I've always done What she wanted. Good things of course. "I want to finish my Spongebob please?"

Sometimes I feel like Imaan is antisocial, I mean she behaves like me most of the time and I'm drawn to her compared to my other siblings. It's not like I don't love Ikhsaan and Aminah, but Imaan has this magnet that have drawn me towards her, I feel like we share the same feelings and I'm that kind of person that loves someone who could relate to what I'm feeling. All I have ever needed was a listening ear and I don't even have a genuine friend.

"Imaan, even I, tried to dodge this wedding but mum wouldn't hear of it. Let's endure and go to the wedding yeah?" I said loud enough for only both of us. She slumped her shoulders in disappointment and then nodded quietly.
I gave her a smile just as my Mum arrived the living room telling us that she's set to go. Ikhsaan and Aminah were wearing thrill faces whereas I and Imaan just look absolutely bored.

•°•°•°•°•°