Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter 8

I did a few scribbling and done! That’s all I could do for myself to relieve some stress for now. It’s 10PM and I can’t sleep no matter how much I try to close my eyes and feel the comfortability my bed was giving me.

I leaned my forehead against the hardness of my table, hand’s currently resting on the paper while still holding the pen. I took a couple of deep breaths, followed by another one, and another one until my breathing hitched and slowly becoming a stifled sobs, hurting my throat and jaw from keeping myself to cry even though it’s too late but I could bet my whole life now that nothing’s could ever be painful to what I’m feeling right now.

You would share your smile, then cry alone later, right? Because you’re afraid they would only like your ‘fun’ but not your drama. Too bad, your life’s the drama itself. No fun, at all, so there’s no reason to like you.

Funny how I’m self-pitying all the time but since I know no one’s there for me, maybe lifting myself a little doesn’t hurt. Like hurt’s still something I could run away from.

Nakaharap ako ngayon sa salamin, sinusubukang ngumiti sa sariling repleksyon. I woke up with heavy eyes earlier. Hindi ko na nga namalayan na nakatulog pala ako. Sana medyo naging maaga ‘yon nangyari para nawalan ako ng oras mag-breakdown.

“Mila, gising na ba si Grace?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Napahigit ako ng hininga nang marinig ang boses ni mommy sa labas. Malawak ang ngiting nagmamadali akong lumabas ng kwarto ko at tama nga ako, hindi pa nakakaalis si mommy. Bumaba ako at dumiretso sa sala.

“Hey, Mom!” Niyakap ko siya sa likod kaya napapitlag siya dahil nakaharap siya sa pinto, siguro paalis na rin.

“Grace naman! Ano ka bang bata ka, baka atakihin ako sa puso!” Pagbibiro niya nang makaharap siya sa akin. Natawa naman ako sa sinabi niya.

“Sorry po, My. But anyway, it’s Friday.” Masayang sabi ko sa kaniya.

“Right, it’s Friday.” Sabi niya habang tumatango. “And guess what, Grace?” Excited naman siya ngayon. Naalala niya kayang half-day kami at every Friday umuuwi siya nang maaga para makapag-bonding kami?

“A-ano po?”

“We’re about to have another branch for our business! Isn’t that great? From scratch to something bigger! Inaasikaso na namin ‘yon ngayon kaya I’ll add some time for preparing it.” Nakatingin lang siya sa akin na halatang masayang-masaya siya sa nangyayari sa business niya. ‘Yong ngiti ko kanina ay naging hilaw. My wide smile remained while my heart sank, then I hugged her.

“Congrats po! You worked hard po, so well-deserved.” I sincerely told her. Marahan kong tinapik ang likod niya.

“Thank you, anak. One of these days, we’ll celebrate, okay?” Hindi na ako nagsalita at tumango nalang ako.

“I have to go, Grace. Ingat ka palagi and don’t forget to eat. Pwede ka naman magpahanda ng lunch mo mamaya kay Mila para hindi ka na bumili ng pagkain sa canteen niyo.” She lightly tapped my cheek and then she left. I just sighed and walked my way to the kitchen.

“Kumain ka na para hindi ka ma-late.” Nakangiting bungad ni Mila.

“Thanks, Mila.”