kiribaku oneshots [DELAYED UPDATES?]

Fuckin' F R I E S

I don't own the art above, credits to the artist.

-a tragedy
-the bakusquad sharing a brain cell
-kiribaku but not really
-69th oneshot special
-don't read this unless you have brain cells to spare because you will lose a few.

Nobody's POV:

The students of 1-a were just lounging around the dorms waiting for their McDonald's to arrive. It was a Saturday afternoon and everyone was still tired from Friday's assessment so their weekend shenanigans were put to a halt for a while.

They barely even had enough in them to get someone to lift a finger and order their food. Though Izuku's limbs were still recovering from being broken on Friday, the rest of the group forced him to order because he was the only person sensible enough to do so.

Izuku was angry but he took it as a chance to do a favor for his crush, Todoroki. He also was devising a plan in the corner where he sat to get back at Bakugou for when he bullied him back in middle school.

And then after minutes of plotting in his weirdo corner, he had the perfect plan. He wouldn't get Bakugou any fries.

He decided that Bakugou was going to suffer a fate worse than death; not getting any fries when you've already smelt them.

The rest of the group was a bit concerned for  Izuku's mental health, but they were all too lazy to go and check on him and they weren't exactly what most people would call 'reliable' friends.

The doorbell rang and Izuku was forced to answer the door and pay. With a devious smirk he took the food inside and handed it out. Bakugou was pretty tired so he waited for his food to be brought to him... but it never was.

The blond rolled off of his spot on the sofa angrily and gave Izuku a glare.

"Oi shitty deku, where the fuck are my fries?!" Izuku was holding back giggles.

"I didn't think that you ordered any..." Izuku was seriously struggling to keep his composure. He had to look the other way to suppress the smile that had begun creeping it's way onto his face. Bakugou growled and rolled his eyes.

"You really are a useless deku, just fucking forget it." Bakugou just walked away and sat down. He tried to seem like he didn't care but the undeniable churning in his stomach was hard to ignore.

So he just went to his boyfriend to beg for fries. Kirishima just shoved them all into his mouth at once and said that he didn't have any left. Bakugou was out for blood (per usual) but above all else he was out for fries.

And he was by all means going to get those fries. He looked over to the other side of the room where Denki sat with his large box of fries. Denki was probably dumb enough to give him one, or so he thought.

Denki said no.

To him.

Bakugou wasn't having it. When Denki's guard was down, he stole what was left of his fries and Denki didn't even notice until Bakugou was already hiding behind the counter and munching on them.

It was an unforgivable crime to steal another man's fries. Denki was outraged so he sought out to find Bakugou and end him.

"Come out, come out wherever you are, you little shit." Denki whispered underneath his breath as he looked for the other blond.

Denki looked behind the counter and prepared himself to drop kick Bakugou.

"I'm going to send you into orbit, you dumb bitch!" Denki's eyes flashed with a hue of pure rage as he kicked Bakugou right in the ass.

Bakugou had already finished the fries. The two began a war that didn't last long because they were so tired, it was more like a pathetic slap fight actually.

Izuku sat back and watched his little stunt play out. He debated whether or not to tell Bakugou that he purposely didn't order him fries to watch him suffer but he decided it would be funnier to tell him after all was said and done.

The rest of the group didn't separate them either, they found their antics to be interesting. Mina sat back in her chair and watched the two pitifully throw hands.

Their efforts were so fucking sad that even Todoroki and Iida laughed. Everything was going great until shit. got. real.

There Izuku stood in the living room's doorway with an unusually sadistic grin.

"Haha! Bakugou you dumb bitch. It was I who began this whole ordeal!" Izuku threw his head back and let out a hardy laugh while both Bakugou and Denki looked at him in confusion.

"Um- Izuku bro what do you mean?" Denki stared at the boy worriedly.

"I didn't get kacchan any fries!" Bakugou was fuming he didn't steal Denki's food only to be deceived. He looked like he was going to rip Izuku in half. The green haired boy didn't care though because he'd already gotten his revenge.

Bakugou took a sad swing at him but it was ineffective because Izuku dodged it and he was used to breaking his bones anyways. It wasn't until someone finally decided to intervene that they stopped clawing at each other.

Todoroki stood in front of Izuku and Bakugou with two McNuggets in his his hands. He was going to resolve this problem.

"Take these McNuggets as a peace offering and stop fighting." The two boys shrugged and reached out to get their nuggets Izuku got his first but when Bakugou reached for his Todoroki set it to fire.

"That's revenge from me too, suffer bitch." Todoroki just walked away and the entire room went silent.

Nothing was said after that.

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Hard to believe that I wasn't high when I wrote that huh? I'm so sorry for creating this... thing I have absolutely no clue what I was thinking when I wrote this so...

Word Count: 1,000