To Be So Lonely // Ben Solo

18

"Arrogant," panted Cyra, her nose scrunched angrily. She was crouched, her lightsaber behind her back. Ben twirled his around his wrist, giving her a moment to catch her breath.

"I could argue the same of you," he said.

She hated how he looked. While her hair was falling out of her ponytail, sweat was present on her forehead, her arms, her back, she was panting, Ben looked unbothered. He looked at her as no threat in the casual way he toyed with her as she fought with all of her effort against him.

"This isn't fair," she said, pointing her saber at him. "Of course I can't win in a fight against you. But I can fight people below your skill."

"That isn't the point," he told her.

He swung his lightsaber at her, to which she ducked underneath and stepped quickly back to distance herself again. If there was an advantage she had over him, it was her speed. It allowed her to dodge well against him, given how long it took for him to complete a full swing of his lightsaber.

"I can feel your anger growing inside you," he told her, as he effortlessly blocked an offensive swing from her at him once more. She huffed at him. "Use it. Channel it. Feel it inside of you and use it to defeat me."

Their footsteps were light as they circled each other in the small training room.

At his words, Cyra felt her anger immediately disperse. She was annoyed that she could never best him, sure, but she could never use it to hurt him. If it was not her brain that refrained her from such actions, it was in the lightsaber that still, even after all these years, partially called to him.

She sighed and held her hands up in a surrender. She turned off the lightsaber. "Ben, I can't. I don't want to. I have no temptation to hurt you."

Ben dropped his own lightsaber, allowing silence to enter the room once more. "What do you know about the Dark Side of the Force?"

"I know that nothing about it appeals to me," she said, placing her hands on her hips.

"It appeals to those who are angry, who want an easy way out, who seek power. Skywalker feared the Dark Side; it's why he turned on me so quickly. He taught us nothing about the Sith or the Dark Side in fear that some of us would find it appealing and turn," explained Ben. "What I know was learned from Snoke, but the most important is that it shouldn't be feared. The Dark is quick, enticing, but that doesn't mean feeling it or giving into it means you're immediately a bad person. Everyone has low moments where they can feel the pull to the Dark."

"I did," admitted Cyra, agreeing.

"And that is the most important lesson I can teach you: to not fear the Dark. That doesn't mean you have to embrace it, but being open to it and its influences will do you better service than ruling out any possibility of using it," he told her. "I'm not a Sith Lord. I am considered a Dark Jedi, but even that is weary, given that I never completed my Jedi Training."

"Even you are in the middle," said Cyra. "Guess we're more alike than we thought."

He shook his head. "I find my strength in the Dark. With my anger, it was easier to pull power from the Dark. Where do you find it easy to pull your strength from?"

Cyra paused to think about it. "I don't know. I mean, I'm assuming the Light, because I've never used any Dark Side powers. I've done traditionally shared powers, with the telekinesis, or memory probing with you--"

"That traditionally belongs to the Dark," corrected Ben, raising his chin. He chuckled as her eyes widened. "You're right that some powers are shared between the Jedi and the Sith. Telekinesis, fighting techniques, visions, to name a few. They used to be distinct, in the days of the Old Republic, but the lines have blurred, which is why I say again you are a better Force User by allowing whatever powers you can gauge coming from either side. You know that certain Sith powers are traditionally lightning, memory probing, uh...The Force Bond that Rey and I have, I suppose, if it was truly created by Snoke."