Safe and Sound

Safe and Sound - Chapter 6

Chapter SIX

I wanted to sleep, more. For a long time. I wanted to cry, and I also wanted to yell. But I just sat there, hooked up to the machines, monitoring my well being. Physically now, I knew I was fine. My body would heal. But there was something happening deeper inside that I couldn't control.

   My mom sat beside my bed, looking at a magazine and talking too much. As if she actually thought I cared about the tabloids filled with Hollywood stars at that very moment. I knew she was wound up, worried. She talked too much when she was worried. But I felt so stuck.

   "Where's Rich?" I finally asked her, finishing the tiny bag of Doritios she had brought back to the room for me.

   "He went across to the motel to get a room for tonight. I'll stay here with you -"

   "No, Mom. I'm fine. I have a bed. You can't sleep in a chair," I told her quickly.

   "Honey." Her eyes were tired.

   "Mom, really. Thank you for bringing me pajamas and the phone... but you and Rich had to drop everything and get here-"

   Her face changed. "Of course we came, Cassidy."

   "I know... this is all just..."

   "You need to sleep. Okay... I'll go across to the motel. Call if you need anything. I mean it. And I'll be back bright and early to-"

   "Ladies!" Rich appeared in the doorway, smiling big.

     We both looked over. "Oh, you came back," my mom said, smiling at him.

   "Sure did. But I was just informed visiting hours are done for the night," Rich said, winking at me.

     He was older than my Mom by a few years, but he was funny and good to her. They had only been together for a few years but they were planning to marry that upcoming fall. Rich had an adult son who lived in Cuba. He moved in with my mom and I earlier that year, but he and weren't close. He worked a lot and I wasn't home much. But, of course, he had dropped everything on a Saturday afternoon and was there, for me.

   "Okay, sleep well, Cass. Do you need anything before we... go?" my mom asked, squeezing my hand.

   "No... I'm good. Thank you both for -" I began.

    "Oh, I almost forgot! I ran into the boy... who helped you. What was his name?" Rich interrupted, slapping his side.

   "Rowan?" I asked, my heart jumping.

   "That's it. He was leaving the hospital, downstairs, when I was coming back in. I got his cell phone number and address... figured we could send flowers or something, as a thank you." He was talking to my Mom, not to me.

   "Oh, why didn't I think of that?" she replied, looking thrilled with Rich.

   "You... got his phone number?" I asked, in shock.

   "Yeah. I wasn't sure if that was weird, asking... but he seemed fine with it," Rich laughed. "Nice kid."

   He walked closer and handed my mom a small piece of paper. She held it in her hand for a few moments, and I repeated the number over and over in my head until they were gone.

   Rowan McMann. 555-2127    800 Donald Ave, Fort Worth, TX

   I laid awake for over an hour, even though I was tired. Exhausted, really. My eyes felt heavy. The room wasn't dark enough and nurses came in a few times. And then when I closed my eyes, I kept seeing the tracks we walked along, for hours. I kept seeing Rowan, his face, his arms around my body. I kept feeling how I felt there, with him. I wanted to sleep. But I needed to do something first.

   I reached over to the table beside the bed, grabbing the phone my mom had brought. The neon green case made me cringe, but the phone was charged and it worked. I texted my best friends, Sonya and Kate first. It was after 9 P.M. Did they even know about the crash? Likely not. This was the first time I was even thinking of them since everything had happened.

   I sent the same message to both of them:

   GIRLS. SHIT. THE TRAIN I WAS ON DERAILED. IM IN THE HOSPITAL IN ARKANSAS. IM OK. MY MOM IS HERE.

   Only minutes passed before the phone started buzzing in my hand.

   WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS CASS?

   CASS, WHAT THE HELL? ARKANSAS? ARE YOU JOKING?

   I sent them each a bit more details, plus a photo of my leg. They asked what was happening with Chicago and I told them I had no idea. And then I told them I needed to sleep, so I'd text them tomorrow.

   I held the phone in my hand for a long time, even typing in Rowan's number. I so wanted to text him. But what would I say? Would he think it was weird if I did? Maybe he was already asleep.

   Finally I just typed the message and hit send, taking in a deep breath.

   HI, ITS CASSIDY. I... SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRD. MY MOM'S FIANCE TOOK YOUR NUMBER... AND I... CANT SLEEP.

   I laid the phone down beside my body, sighing. When he had left, I had no idea if I would ever talk to him again. Now my body was shaking with nerves, wondering if he would return the message at all.

   Buzz.

   I CANT SLEEP, EITHER. I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE BODIES I SAW, AND SEEING YOU... JUST HOPING YOU WERE BREATHING.

   IM BREATHING,  I sent back.

   I DIDN'T SAVE YOU.

   YES, YOU DID. I WOULDN'T HAVE... MADE IT UP THAT HILL. OR ANYWHERE, WITHOUT YOU.

   I DON'T WANT TO BE THE HERO. I DON'T KNOW WHY THOSE PEOPLE DIED, AND YOU WERE SO HURT... AND IM JUST FINE, he typed back to me.

   My heart dropped.  I DON'T KNOW EITHER. BUT IM SO GLAD YOU WERE FINE. IM SO GLAD YOU FOUND ME.

   He didn't text back for a few long minutes, and I thought I'd scared him off. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it throughout my body as I waited.

   CAN I TEXT YOU TOMORROW? YOU NEED TO TRY TO SLEEP.

   YOU DO, TOO. AND YES... YOU CAN, I answered.

   OKAY. TOMORROW.

   I sighed again, relieved. G'NIGHT.