and how do you ever go back
when i asked you to stop hurting me
and you simply said
"i don't have to justify myself."
- you don't.
seven word story:
you got what you wanted. i didn't.
...
it is imperative
that i wait until the concept of us
starts to collect dust.
then,
and only then,
i will be able to see what remains.
...
it's not that he didn't love me.
he just had an agenda,
a temporary timeline attached to it all.
he made quick and easy work of my being.
...
forever was a lie when uttered by your lips.
....
tell me,
what do you do
when you have been honest with yourself,
confronted all the red flags and things that go bump in the night and every thing that should make you want to leave.
and you make them your friends?
i have faced,
in the cruellest way possible,
everything
that should make me run in the other direction,
yet i have never truly doubted or faltered. my soul was not meant to grow alone, but with his. it feels stunted any other way. all semblances of confidence, of independence are fleeting. they're there, but never concrete. i feel weak for that. i am bitter at my heart for that.
and when i visit my memory of that beautifully jagged, jaggedly beautiful soul
i still believe more than anything.
i am meant to stay.
don't you understand?
my heart will never be anything more than a vagabond without him.
so tell me,
please,
where do i go from there?
because time isn't cutting it.
YOU ARE READING
ruby
Poetrypoems about the next stage of my life, hopefully about new experiences but also about hanging onto something the heart has desperately longed for and isn't quite ready to give up
