6.8.20

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forget gold,
everything i touch turns to
rubble.

.........

what am i supposed to say?
when the people ask
"how is stuff at home?"
how do i even begin to describe
how much of a home it isn't?
the absence of a father,
a husband,
a role model
is
glaringly obvious
i know exactly what they insinuate,
what they try to lovingly pry at.
but i don't want to share,
i don't want this fallout to reach you too.
this has already scared many loves and many friends off,
i won't have it distort the way you see me too.

...

why is it that distance only makes
some hearts
fonder?

...

at least i committed to my downfall.

you were the one ready for the nearest exit ramp but chose to blame me for pointing out the sign.

- "i won't justify myself for how i heal."

...

what a loaded phrase,
nothing is permanent.

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