Hurt me once //Deh and Bmc One-shots

Temporary Love //Kleinsen

Dear Reader,
Okay I'll shut up smh.
Yeah well this is my first one shot story so i'm sorry if it's not perfect eeh yeah insecurity about new stuff check Oof.
Also TW: Panic attack/ SARCASM
Ps: Don't forget to check on your trees;)
Pss: KINKY!

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''I don't wanna do this anymore, I- I just can't!'' Evan walked from the left side of my room to the other side again and again which made me nervous on a whole new level.
''Can you stop walking around like something is fucking chasing you?'' Directly when I said this words and Evan looked at me sorry I regret what I said.
''I'm sorry, I don't think before talking,'' I cleared my throat and focused on my laptop which was on my lap again.
''You know that almost everyone will be pissed at you when you tell the truth right?'' I added and looked up at Evan who just stood in the middle of the room, rubbing his hand together and looked nervously around.
''I- I know but I can't live in a lie anymore and I promise I won't mention you--'' The boy infront of me already started talking fastly but I shushed him with just interrupting him.
''I don't care what people think about me, I never did,'' With that words, I closed my laptop and shrugged.
''Just try to not meet Connor.''

Wow you just did it again Jared, congrats.

Just because of the shocked look at Evans face I sighed and stood up, grabbed some water and drank a bit of it.
''I--'' He can but I raised my finger, grabbing another glass with water and pressed it into his hand.
''Calm down it was just a joke.'' I muttered and sat back down at my chair.
''I- I know but I just have no words for that left.'' He stuttered and drank a bit of the water.
''You should try some drugs to calm dude.'' I suggested and he choked on his water.
''What?!'' Evan coughed and I laughed loudly.
''Just saying,'' I chuckled before Evan also began to giggle nervously as if he was threatening himself to laugh.
''I personally think I'm hilarious.'' I added and Evan almost choked again.
''Stop it.'' He laughed a bit and I sighed.
''No humour tzz tzz.'' I shook my head and put my laptop at my messy desk which was full of some sketches and bullet points for my next software while Evan sat down at the floor.
''I'm gonna tell them.'' Evan suddenly gasped after air and I looked over to him, slightly getting worried.

You can't get a panic attack right here I don't know how to handle that?!

''You alright?'' I asked carefully and saw how Evan began to pinch himself a bit from which point on I new I had to intervene.
''Stop, Evan come on.'' I said and walked over to him, sitting down infront of him.
''I'm sorry I-- I why did I even start that I'm-- sorry just-- fuck!'' Evan panted and tears began to form in his eyes.
''For what? It's all good you didn't do anything wrong man.'' I smiled at him carefully but he just burried his face in his hands while he also began to shake.
''I'm-- I'm a failure I shouldn't have done that shit.'' Evan continued insulting himself and I looked at him somehow shocked.

I knew he was having anxieties and panic attacks but that it was that bad, that was something new and I had absolutely no idea what to do or to say.

''You're not a failure, you're Evan.'' I tried to light the mood with a joke but apparently just made it worse.
''It's not the right time for f-fucking jokes Jared.'' He sniffed under tears and a feeling of bad conscience came up my chest.
''I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say.'' I admitted and shook my head while seeing myself as the most stupid person on this planet at the moment.
''Don't be sorry please,'' Evan looked up at me with teary eyes and tried to smile but failed.
''If I'd have just told the truth or even just didn't print that stupid letter that day I could've avoided all of this and--'' He speaked fast shaklingly and my brain wasn't able to follow complelty at first.
''Evan..'' I began quietly but he just continued talking as fast as Eminem was rapping rap god.
''It's all my fault he's dead because of me and I got you into all of this I'm so stupid now I get why I have no friends I deserve all of this--''
''Evan.'' I tried again but he ignored me completely. Again.
''Because of me the murphys are gonna suffer again and everyone will hating me so much what am I even trying I have already lost everything--'' Evan bursted out in tears but still continued talking like he was trying to convince himself.
''Evan!''
''My life makes no sense maybe I should just g--'' Before he was able to finish that terrifying sentence my brain kinda turned off and I kissed him, just for shutting him up and because I wasn't able to control myself.
''I'm sorry I didn't mean to you shoukd just shut up--'' I backed off at Evan's surprised look.

At least he isn't talking anymore.

''I- it's fine I just--'' Evan seemed to lost his whole vocabulary while I just sat there, shocked from myself.
''Sorry.'' We both said at the same time and looked at each other.
''For what?''
''That doesn't make sense Evan.'' We talked at the same time again and I looked away, embarrassed by the entire situation which I, absolutely not purposely, created.

''Well it worked.'' Evan laughed awkwardly and I raised an eyebrow.
''What do you--'' I wasn't able to finish my sentence because Evan suddenly leaned forward and kissed me back from what I was now the one who lost his vocabulary.

''That.''

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Published: June 7th 2020
Words: 1008