Hurt me once //Deh and Bmc One-shots

River // Conguel

[Yay finally a 100% canon ship because they are canon in the book and dating :) well- until Connor- yeah we know- so get ready for some sadness fellas.]
⚠️TW: suicidal thoughts, sadness, fainting, depression, ED, swear words⚠️

Requested by: -FallenInAForest-
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POV Connor M

And another boring and unnecessary day passed by, wow. Congrats to me for making it through that hell for another twenty-four hours.

I thought and layed down on my bed, reaching for my phone which was on the chair next to my bed.

My excitement got destroyed the moment I looked at my phone because, like I deep inside expected, no one wrote me or anything.
I mean- I was used to it- but the bit of hope was always there because being alone sucked so fucking much.

Especially when the person who used to be there for you and went through hell with you because both of you made a promise to stick together suddenly realised what a piece of shit you actually are.

Well fuck, my whole situation.

I sighed and nearly smashed my phone at the ground but stopped myself with the same stupid thought from before.

What if he would suddenly reply again?

He wouldn't, I was sure as fuck.

''Zoe, Connor! Dinner's ready!'' I heard my Mom shouting from downstairs and I groaned, standing up slowly even though I didn't feel any kind of hunger.

Like yesterday.
And the day before yesterday.
And the day before before yesterday.
And the day before before before yesterday.
And every other day before before before before yesterday.

''Coming!'' Zoe shouted back out of her room and the quiet sound of her guitar stopped as soon as she left her room and looked at me weirdly before going downstairs.

Why does even my own family hate me though?

I followed her quietly and sat down at my usual seat on the table where I was quite literally the misfit from the family.

I mean just put me next to my sister.

Zoe was popular, everyone loved her, she was talented and had perfect grades while I was just there.
I was the weird boy who got called names like 'school shooter' or 'the guy who threw a printer at a teacher in elementary' or just the 'stoner'.

Even though the last one wasn't that untrue.

I was a nothing next to my sister but I still loved her, it was just that she didn't.
At least I thought that.

''And, how was school?'' My Mom asked like almost everyday and I had to suppress an annoyed sigh when Zoe began to speak.
''Nothing special, just as boring as always.''

When she finished her sentence I looked up and raised an eyebrow because that kind of answer was more than untypical for our 'happy sunshine'.
''What's wrong honey?'' My Mom continued asking but Zoe just shrugged and ignored it.

''And you, Connor?'' Mom got me out of my thoughts and I blinked several times before looking down at my empty plate.
''Like always.'' I answered and the conversation just went on like usually.

As I said, I'm not important.

''Aren't you gonna eat something?'' Zoe asked and raised an eyebrow, her typical 'I exposed you' smile showing off a lot.
''I'm not hungry.'' I scoffed and crossed my arms while our parents stopped talking for a moment.
''You need to eat Connor!'' My Mom shook her head and I internally rolled my eyes.
''I am not hungry.'' I repeated myself and looked her in the eye.
''Just eat something, god it's not that difficult.'' My dad scoffed and I glared at him.