Why does she love me
My mother
After everything
I've done
After all the times
I made her want to beat me
She never did
So
Why didn't you?
Just today
You said
"Get away from me"
Because
I had made you
So upset
Yesterday
You cursed at me
All because
I got lazy
And didn't finish
A chore
I'm so sorry
Forgive me mom
You thought I was slacking
When in the middle of a chore
I went around
And asked everyone for
A hug
I needed those hugs
I needed support
I was scared
I felt
Alone
I did the chores
And now I'm hiding
So I can write this
I need someone to cuddle
And hug
And be supportive to me
My bear,
Boog,
Used to be that person
But he's old now
An old man bear
I lost my connection with him
And I need a new one.
It's not just mom
I've hurt my brother too
I yell at him
I scream at him
I want to so badly call him stupid
But
On the inside
I love him
And I want him to know that
But I only tell him when he's
Being nice to me
Which is almost never
A freaking 5 year old
Calls me names
And makes fun of me
And I try to have mom
or dad
Help me
But all they say is
"HE'S ONLY A BABY!!"
I'm beginning to resort to
Negative attention
I want some kind
Any kind
Of recognition
When they see my report card
It'll be positive attention
But right now
It's negative
And I feel...
So bad
That I do this
And make my family
So upset
