Today is 12/23/14
It has been over a year since I last wrote in here.
My dad is still a drunk.
My brother is even worse.
My mother almost killed us.
I still want to murder my brother.
I am failing a class.
If dad finds out
I'll be beat.
Or something like that.
And as for my feelings for Jessica?
They're the opposite now.
The clouds are gone.
My vision is clear.
I see now
how EVIL she is
how CONIVING
and HORRIBLE
she truly is.
I HATE HER
SO MUCH
I blame her
for the pain.
It only started
after we met.
she caused this
I know it
I know it.
We go to the same school.
I haven't seen her yet.
I'm terrified that I will.
I so scared
That we will meet
And
"IT"
will happen again.
I'm always looking
always watching myself
and trying to hide
I don't want to see her
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT SHE'S DONE
THE SCARRING
LITERALLY
I CANNOT SAY HER NAME
I CAN'T
IT HURTS TOO MUCH
I had to stop being friends
with people named Jessica
because
I just couldn't do it...
...it made me too
scared...
I wonder
if she has any idea
what she's
DONE
Only two good things came from her
One:
The gorillaz
I still like their music
they're good
Two:
Wisdom.
The ability to recognize abuse.
The ability to tell
when someone is torturing you.
Being able to see
whether it's
difficult love
or
deceptive pain.
So yeah.
F*ck you Jessica.
You're a horrible person.
Go get some help.
You need it.
Tell your mother about
Scarlet.
Tell them about
the scars
Go to therapy
Get your addictions
addressed
Please
For both of our
sakes.
And to you,
I say goodbye.
And
I'm so goddamn sorry I ever thought I loved you.
Really.
Sorry about all of that.
