Lie To Me ✔️

7 | You stayed with me

I knew for a fact that I was finally free. I was finally free from your cage. It was as if I finally reached over and snatched the key out of your tight grasp when you were preoccupied with another heart.

I was free.

But, why didn't I feel free?

Maybe it was because my heart still stayed back and clutched onto your hand. I tried ripping it out of your grasp but my heart only held onto you tighter. It didn't want to leave you. And it seemed like you refused to give my heart up too. You clutched onto it so tightly. You were crying and begging to keep it. To keep my battered heart.

But I couldn't let you. Why wouldn't my heart just let you go?

Was it because it new I would miss the way your hands held me, touched me? They possessed me in so many ways. Or, was it with the way my heart new I would miss your lips? Just a small taste would leave me breathless and wanting more. My heart new I'll forever be wanting more.

But do you know what my heart forgot to acknowledge? It forgot the lies. The deceit. The betrayal.

My patience was running thin. Especially with the way you remained rooted in front of me. Why were you always so stubborn? It came to the point I felt my fingers piercing the inside of my hand. It stung, but it couldn't compare to what I felt in my chest.

I then watched your lips part, ready to explain and fill my ears with more lies. But then your text tone went off and I just knew. The sound filled the silence and I held in my breath as you fished for your phone in your pocket. You pursed your lips and fidgeted while glancing up at me. A knot grew in my stomach. I felt sick.

"You should probably go. He's waiting for you right?"

Fear filled your eyes again.

"Lisa don't leave me."

You begged. Funny, that use to be me when you would constantly leave our dates early.

"Why? Your one and only lover is waiting for you."

I didn't mean to sound so cold or sarcastic but the ache in me couldn't help itself. You flinched and gripped onto your chest as if my words shot through you and pierced your heart.

Why?

It seemed like I'll always be asking that. But, I also realize I don't think I'll ever get the answer. Not when you continue to reach for me and act like our ending isn't real.

"I don't want him."

You sounded breathless. I scoffed at that,

"Oh, and I suppose you want me to actually believe that?"

Aren't you tired of lying?

You suddenly groaned and threw your phone to side,

"I know I messed up. I know what I did to you— to us!! It is unforgivable. But please don't leave me! It was a mistake!"

You saw it as a mistake while I saw it as a betrayal. You betrayed me. And just reading your eyes and watching those tears fall, you knew it too.

"Y-You let him touch you Jennie! You allowed someone to—."

I couldn't finish sentence. I felt as if I was going to vomit. The fear in your eyes increased seeing as I was backing away from you. I had to get away from you.

"How could you Jennie? How could you let him touch you the way that I did or k-kiss you? Did I ever cross your mind at all?"

I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. I needed you to hear me. To hear my pain that you seemed to ignore for months.

"It hurts Jennie! So damn much! I can't sleep, I can't eat! I can't breathe Jennie!"

You flinched and cried harder with every word that escaped from me. I didn't realize I was crying myself till I felt my own tears sliding down my neck and soaking my shirt. The pain was unbearable. My body trembled and ached. Everything ached. And it was all because of you.

"It hurts loving you Jennie and I can't do it anymore."

My hand gripped onto my chest. I couldn't breathe. I started panting Jennie and your eyes grew wide as I suddenly fell onto my knees. You rushed over to me and held my shoulders. I've always had trouble breathing. And you were always there to help me. But I didn't want your help anymore.

I tried pushing you away but you only held me tighter. You pressed your forehead against mine and told me to breathe with you. I did.

Our breathing was in sync, just like our hearts. I felt it when you placed my hand over your chest. You wanted me to focus on the beating.

"I'm sorry."

I heard you whisper after I was able to stay in control of my breathing.

"I know."

Was the last thing I said before I fell unconscious.

And, when I woke up, I was tucked comfortably under my blankets. And, I was shocked not only because you were sleeping soundly beside me, nor was it because you didn't go with Kai, but because, for the very first time in a while,

you stayed with me.