Lie To Me ✔️

15 | Friends

You know Jennie, our story line continued to feel intertwined despite its battle to remain separate. For weeks, our bond was slowly growing again but you knew I still distanced myself. My walls stayed intact. I wouldn't allow myself to fall into your heart again.

I avoided your eyes on my bad days. I ignored your subtle touches and the smiles you sent me. But, on your own bad days, your face always presented irritation. You ate alone late at night. And, while the others were sound asleep, I would hear you cry yourself to sleep. But, I heard you cry the hardest when I told you Mina was going to come over the next week.

I was going to introduce her as my official girlfriend to all of you. Was I excited? Yes. I was finally able to show you girls the person that I truly cared for. You all knew her. But you only knew OF her. You didn't know the kind of person she was. You girls didn't know the kind of person my heart fluttered for.

But, despite my excitement, I was more terrified from the hurt in your eyes the moment I entered the dorm. Your eyes stared at my hand that held Minas so tightly. It use to be your hand that I held so dearly.

You watched as my thumb unconsciously caressed Minas hands gently. And you stared at her smile whenever she looked at me. She had the same smile you use to have every time I told you I loved you.

"This is Mina, my girlfriend."

Hearing that, I could see Jisoo turn to look at you while Rosé stared at me as if silently asking me if I knew I was doing the right thing. It was silent for a good second. Mina worriedly looked at me, but before I could even apologize for their behavior, you stood up.

The whole room grew deathly silent. It was worse than before. I eyed you suspiciously and watched you walk up to us. Your face was blank and your eyes looked distant. I hated that look on you. And then you stopped right in front of us and, to my utter surprise, you extended your hand forward with a weak smile,

"It's nice to finally meet you Mina."

My eyes widened. Mina's eyes widened. Even the girls looked surprised. Out of everyone, I never expected you to smile at her first. I never expected you to suddenly hug her as well.

"Thank you for making her happy."

You whispered. Your intention was for her and her alone to hear that, but I heard it all. Mina's body softened and a sad smile painted her lips while I could only hide my frown.

Hearing the way your voice sounded so small and scared and watching you rapidly blinking, trying fight back your own tears made me regret bringing Mina. But, maybe this was good. Maybe you were finally and officially letting me go.

But, that didn't stop the ache.

Suddenly, you pulled away and tried smiling excitedly,

"Are you hungry? I was about to cook a meal for everyone."

And before I could even try to get a word out, Mina kindly shook her head with an apologetic smile.

"It's okay, Lis and I were actually going to go out and get some food."

Your smile wavered but you never hesitated to say,

"Oh, that's okay! I hope you girls have fun!"

To the others, it would have seemed like you were okay. But, I knew those eyes and I knew that smile. My own eyes traced and memorized every single detail of you features for years. It studied the way they saw the world and how the world saw them.

I looked at Rosé and seeing the silent look I sent her, she nodded and stood up with Jisoo,

"Can I give you the tour of the place Mina?"

Mina looked at me and seeing my short nod, she looked back over to the others and sent a kind smile,

"Sure."

I watched them all walk out. You even began to follow till I quickly gripped onto your wrist. I watched you turn to look at me with stunned eyes and id be lying if I said I didn't want to hug you right away. Because, I badly wanted to. Those eyes of yours no longer had light.

"What're you doing Jennie?"

I whispered. Confusion invaded your eyes and I watched as they scanned mine slowly and thoughtfully. Such a simple action. But, if it was simple then why was my heart acting up?

"Why are you acting like you're okay?"

I had to ask. I've been where you were. I faked until my heart could no longer take it and I'd be damned if I was going to allow anyone go through what I went through. It was awful.

That confusion instantly turned into something that squeezed my heart. It was painful, it was harsh. It removed the air in my lungs. You looked away from me. Although I could no longer see your sharp eyes, I could still feel it. You were hurting badly.

"I have no choice."

You paused and finally met my eyes again. And this time, you allowed your eyes to show vulnerability.

"I should be happy for you. But, I'm dying inside Lisa. And I don't think that feeling will ever go away."

I couldn't think. My mind grew blank. But the erratic rhythm of my heart continued its relentless beatings against my bones.

"But, I finally realized something. If I don't give you up now, you'd no longer want to be in my life and that's the last thing I'd ever want to happen to us."

I remembered feeling the air in the back of my throat hitch the moment you placed your free hand over mine that still held your wrist gently.

"And, I rather be your friend than nothing at all so, friends?"

I wanted to scream no. But my mouth said this instead,

"Friends."