Lie To Me ✔️

14 | I forgive you

~ triple update ~

Three more months had passed and I asked Mina to be mine.

The girls knew.

You knew.

I told you separately from the other two. I felt like it was a conversation you and I had to have alone.

I liked Mina. A lot.

But,

Did I love her?

No.

Not yet anyways.

Yes, my heart always fluttered for her, but my heart refused to stop beating for you. My cheeks always blushed when she smiled, but my body never failed to flush when you smiled.

And I hated it.

But what I hated the most was when your eyes looked at me when I said,

"I asked Mina to be my girlfriend."

It was like I could hear your heart shattering. And, it was as if those pieces of your heart fell onto the palm of my hand and all I could do was stare at it piercing into my skin. It hurt. I watched you visibly gulp and heard a clearing of your throat,

"Oh, w-when?"

Your hands tightly fisted your bed sheet that you sat on. Your hands trembled and your knuckles whitened. Your pain enveloped me and screamed for mercy.

"Yesterday."

I had to keep it short. I no longer wanted to prolong the conversation, especially seeing your eyes slowly losing its light I loved.

"T-that's great. I'm happy for you."

It pained you to say that. I just knew it.

I watched you turn your face away from me. You lifted your hand up to wipe a stray tear you hoped I missed. Oh how I wished I could unsee that because then, I wouldn't be fighting the strength to wipe it myself.

"Y-you deserve this kind of happiness."

You said. You sounded breathless and you never met my eyes.

"I, umm, I'm going to take a n-nap. So.."

You dragged out and I didn't even hesitate to leave. Because, hearing your voice cracking, shaking and sensing the desperation in your tone, I knew that if I had stayed any longer I would've watched you break and I wouldn't have hesitated to hold you like before.

I rushed out of the room and leaned my back against your door. I placed one hand over my mouth and clenched my eyes tight. Your sobs were so loud that we all could hear it from outside your door.

Jisoo and Rosé watched me silently cry from the hall. Sadness screamed in their eyes. It hurt them knowing both us were equally broken. But, what choice did I have?

"Lisa."

Jisoo called for me. And I looked at her with tears streaming down my cheeks. Your sobs felt like knives twisting inside my chest and was leaving a permanent wound. I watched as Jisoo walked up to me with a sad smile. She lifted her hand up and wiped my cheek,

"It's okay."

She whispered.

"You need this."

And without a second thought, I entered your room again. You gasped and sat up from your bed. I watched with the weight on my chest as you wiped your cheeks and forced out a smile,

"You scared me."

For once, I decided to let go of the reins I wrapped so tightly in my heart and walk through the storm.

I rushed towards you and pulled you up from the bed. Your blood shot eyes widened and I watched the way your lips opened and close, not knowing what to do or say. But I silenced you by pulling you against me and holding you tightly.

Your body stiffened against me, but after a single heart beat, I felt your slender arms wrap themselves around my waist. A soft shiver instantly and naturally trickled down my spine the moment I felt the tip of your nose brush against my skin when you buried your face in the crook of my neck.

"I'm so sorry Lisa. I'm so God damn sorry!"

You cried and shook against me and all I could do was close my eyes and fight back the knot in my throat and the tears that threatened to fall. I pressed my lips on the top of your head and exhaled deeply. God, I missed the way you felt in my arms.

"I messed up badly."

You whimpered.

"I'm so sorry Lili."

It was my turn to stiffen.

I haven't heard you call me that in months. The feeling was terrifying. Hearing that nickname again felt too perfect but also so wrong.

I was with Mina already.

So, I gently pushed you away and slid my hands up to your face and smiled the pained smile you grew familiar to,

"Stop crying, you know I hate it when you cry."

I whispered. You cutely sniffled with a breathy chuckle.

"I'm sorry."

You repeated. Your eyes stared up at mine so intently that my heart began to beat an ugly beat. It hammered roughly against my chest. I haven't seen that look in so long.

I had to get out of there.

So, I slid my hands down your arms and held your hands. I slowly backed away and watched as our fingers slowly slid against each other. And, no longer feeling your skin against my fingertips, I knew I was doomed.

I remembered walking out of your room with a heavy heart, but before I could even lay my hand on your door handle, I called for you,

"Hey Jennie?"

You looked at me and I stared at you with a soft smile,

"I forgive you."