Lie To Me ✔️

16 | I promise

~ last double update ~

We are nearing the end of the story

Another month passed and you seemed happier. This time, it wasn't because you met somebody, rather, you seemed to be at peace with yourself. A month after you met Mina, you told me,

"I want to let you know that I will never jeopardize your happiness."

You told me that it was better this way. Somewhere this past year, you lost yourself. You lost your morals and stopped fighting for what you loved or believed in. You stopped fighting for me.

You told me,

"I love you Lisa, so much. But, I know it's hard to believe because of what I did to you. I hurt you and that is something I'll never forgive myself in. You loved me with everting that you had and I completely destroyed that."

You stood in front of me with pained eyes. Your tearful feline eyes left me breathless. All the ache I've repressed appeared the moment you told me how you'll always love me even when I will no longer feel the same.

You think that it would be easy for me? Falling out of love? The love I felt for you will always be forever. But, I couldn't tell you that. I couldn't give you the hope that you were yearning for. So we just said, goodbye.

The next week, we were fine. We no longer avoided each other's eyes and it became easier to mask the longing and desperation we had for each other. Sure, it was awkward in the beginning.

Jisoo and Rosé left to go buy food one day, leaving us two home alone. It hasn't been just us two alone in the dorm for months now. And, I almost felt my heart burst when you asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with you in the living room.

I wanted to reject the offer, but you were trying. You were trying to fix the mistakes you've made even when you knew we'd never be together again. So, I simply nodded and sat on the couch with you. Not too close but not too far.

You noticed the space between us but chose not to say a word about it. Instead you masked the sadness you were feeling by smiling brightly and asking what movie I wanted to watch.

I wanted to tell you to put down the mask, but if you did, then what? What would I say? What would happen between us? Would anything change?

No.

Sometimes it's better to stay silent when there isn't a reason to say a word.

We decided to watch a Disney movie.

In the beginning, it was uncomfortably silent between us. The sounds of the movie and a clearing of a throat filled the room, but why did it still sound so quiet?

But then, suddenly, you giggled.

You were laughing at the movie and that sound was like music to my ears. My heart swelled, I haven't heard you laugh in a while. I looked over at you and you were blushing in embarrassment. But, seeing as I began to laugh myself, you laughed even harder.

It may sound slightly cheesy, but that moment of ours was beautiful.

We haven't laughed that hard together in so long that it felt like a dream. A kind of dream you wanted to live through for the rest of your life. But, with every dream came with the inevitability of waking up.

Mina called me in the middle of our smiles we were sharing. You asked me if it was the girls calling and I awkwardly said,

"It's Mina."

The dream ended and we were instantly brought back to reality. A reality where we were no longer together and where I was trying to love someone else.

Your smile wavered,

"Don't let me stop you. Go, answer the phone Lis. Tell her I said hi for me, okay?"

I frowned and stood up. You watched me with confusion swimming in your eyes.

"Why are you being so nice?"

I asked you. And, what shocked me wasn't with the way you stood up as well and smiled at me. It was with the way you gently placed your hand on my cheek and said,

"Because, you're being nice to ME when we both know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your kindness, I don't deserve your smile and I sure as hell don't deserve your love."

I clenched my fists tightly against my side. I was fighting the strength to place my hands on your waist and pull you close. I remembered shaking my head and opening my mouth, ready to say you deserve the world, despite the wrongs you did, but you cut me off,

"You know, when you stare at her with these beautiful eyes of yours, I can never breathe."

You whispered.

"I love these eyes."

You were ghosting you're fingers over my eyes with a thoughtful smile. I couldn't help but flutter my eyes closed with the soft airy feeling. But then, your thumb began to caress my lips. My breath immediately hitched,

"And, when I see you smile at her with these lips, my heart breaks."

I had to open my eyes. Your voice broke and shook and it hurt me. Your weakness was always my weakness.

"I am jealous Lis. But, I will never do anything to break what you and Mina have."

You whispered. And then, you leaned up and placed a soft kiss on my cheek and I could've sworn my heart stopped. Your lips were so soft. I missed the way it moved against mine. I sighed when you pulled away. I watched as you took my phone from my hand and answered the call. You handed it to me with the same kind of smile that still failed to reach your empty eyes.

You left the living room and your scent lingered around me. But, before you left, you blinked away your tears and said,

"I promise."