Lie To Me ✔️

8 | You broke me too

It was a rare sight to see. It truly was.

I haven't woken up with you beside me in weeks.

So why now?

Why did you have to sleep beside me now?

I wanted to wake you up and force you out of my room. But, all I remembered was wanting to reach over and pull you closer because I knew a smile would break through. You'd snuggle closer into my warmth and whisper "good morning." But, before I could even lift a finger, you tilted your head to the side and I saw the mark.

It was the mark that was made days ago.

A mark that wasn't made from me.

And, it was the reason why I removed your arm off of my waist. I sat up while you opened your eyes. It took you a while to adjust your sight but when you did, fear invaded and settled inside those brown eyes.

I had to look away.

"H-How are you feeling?"

The strange tone of your voice sounded desperate. You were desperate for me to meet your eyes and desperate for me to say, I didn't mean to end us.

But I meant it.

So, instead of saying 'I'm okay,' I said,

"You should probably cover that hickey. We have a photoshoot in a couple of hours."

I could hear my heart screaming and begging me to stop just by saying those words. I hazarded another glance to you, only to look away again seeing your own gaze casted down to our hands that were only centimeters apart. You tried to reach for me, but I immediately removed myself from the bed and away from your touch.

I asked you to leave, but you still stayed seated on my bed,

"Can we please talk? I just want to explain myself."

You've never sounded so weak to me.

You wanted me to say yes. You wanted me to hear you out and give you another chance. Did you really believe that I didn't want to?

I wanted to, so bad. I wanted to face you and see you smile again, but I couldn't.

All those memories of you hurting me endlessly continued to flash inside my head. It blocked the only path I had to remember your beautiful smile. It was as if, no matter how hard I tried to reach for it, the image of you smiling would transform into a sickening smirk. And, that smirk would would only widen when I would cry as other memories of you pushed me to the floor.

The memories of your happiness mocked me because I was no longer the reason for your smiles.

"There's nothing to explain. You love someone else and we're done. Now, can you please leave."

It was like a storm was growing in my chest. It was cold and dark. It not only scared you, but it frightened me. This wasn't who I was. I don't get angry Jennie. But you not giving me the space that I deserved infuriated me to the point I could no longer bite my tongue. Especially when you told me that you still loved me.

"Like I said, if you loved me, you wouldn't have allowed—."

I couldn't finish that sentence. That sentence alone was eating me alive. But, I continued,

"You did something I would have never thought of doing. I could never do what you did to me. I loved you with everything that I had but it just wasn't enough for you, was it?

My voice seemed to have a mind of its own— no. It was the hurt that finally decided to speak. I looked down at the bin and instantly kicked it to the wall. I couldn't stomach the sight of our pictures.

"Lisa, plea—."

"No Jennie! Every night, every damn night I waited for you. I waited for the real you to come back to me but you never did. The only thing you came back with was his scent."

Couldn't you feel my pain Jennie? If you could, why didn't you just leave me the hell alone?

I turned back around and stared down at you. Tears continued running down your cheeks while your eyes screamed defeat. You knew it was over just from the sight of the emptiness in my eyes. I felt empty and it was because of your lies.

"You cheated on me."

I said the word I could never say. And it felt awful. I watched your body tense and I heard the quiet sob escape from you. You hugged your own body because you knew I didn't want to lay a single finger on you without wanting to cry or scream.

"You cheated on me. And I will never forgive you for that. Did those three years of us mean nothing to you?"

You were hysterically crying at this point. Your body shook and this time, it was your eyes that screamed pain and longing. I had to look away again. That sight will forever be imprinted in the back of my head and I absolutely hated it.

I needed to leave my room. I needed to escape from you. But before I could even open the door, I stopped and faced your broken state. And, by saying these upcoming words, your cries for me only intensified after I officially walked out on you.

"You didn't just break us Jennie—

You broke me too."