The Ghost Of You

You Are Never Coming Home, Never Coming Home. Could I? Should I?

Mikey POV

I have never felt this exhausted in my life. Well, in my life and in death, technically. I feel completely drained, as if every ounce of energy has been sucked from my body. In my opinion though, it was worth it.

I may be dead, but I still managed to save my family. I bet they're a little freaked out considering they somehow saw me, but still. It was worth every bit of exhaustion and weirdness. They're alive and healthy. That's what truly matters.

"That's what happens when you overexert yourself, dear." I heard my grandmother say. "It's going to take a bit for you to feel normal again."

"What even is normal? I've lost all sense of the word since I've died. None of this is normal. I shouldn't be a ghost and I certainly shouldn't be the leader of some sort of ghost parade thing. That is definitely not normal." I rambled, clearly annoyed with the situation.

"Nothing in life is normal. There may be various feelings of normalcy to different people, but not one thing is normal. To the others, this is normal. It's become their normal. None of this may seem normal to you yet, but I can assure you, one day it will be." She stood in front of me and held her hand out to help me up, which I hesitantly took.

"So how do I gain my energy back? I want to see if they're okay." I pouted.

"You can still see them, you just can't communicate for a few days." I sighed heavily. I had been communicating with her almost every night, how can I just not show up? "It will only be a couple days. You'll be fine."

"It's not me I'm worried about," I mumbled, "Do you want to go see Y/N and Gerard at the hospital with me?"

"I'd love to." We ventured down the desolate roads. Everything was so grey and ashy, I missed the bright colors. I miss the various shades of blues and greens. Now it's just a million shades of grey.

I don't know how long it took us, time doesn't exist to me anymore. When we did get to the hospital though, I somehow already knew where they were. Like the familiarity of their presences were turned into a tracking device for me.

"Again, it's strange now, but you'll get used to it." I chuckled a little as we walked towards their rooms. We went to Y/N's first, and I was beyond happy to see that she was okay, but she was still unconscious. Ray and Rowan sat beside her bed, both still asleep. 

Rowan began to squirm a little, which woke Ray up. Maybe a minute after, Y/N's eyes opened. I so badly wanted to run to her and hug her, but I couldn't even if I had the energy.

"Oh my god, you're awake!" Ray put my daughter down and ran to the door, my guess was to inform the hospital staff, but I wasn't paying attention to that, only her panicked expression. Doctors and nurses almost immediately ran in to check on her.

"Wait, what about my baby? Is my baby okay? Please tell me my baby is okay." She began crying and her heart rate began rising. I wish I could comfort her, but I was also worried about the child. Our child.

"The babies are fine, Y/N, please calm down. We're just going to run some tests. You've been out for a week and a half. We didn't think you'd pull through, at least not this fast." The doctor replied. I noticed her face change, and I'm pretty sure she had the same thought as me in that moment.

"Babies? Like, plural?" Yep, called it.

"Yes, we found two heartbeats when we took a listen. Congratulations." I didn't know how to feel. I beyond happy that not only were our children still okay, but there's two of them in there. At the same time, I was heartbroken. Now I would have three children that would never know me.

"It's going to be okay, Mikey." My grandmother reassured me. "Let's go check on your brother now."

We turned and left the room. I didn't want to, I never want to leave her, but I did want to check on Gerard. As we were walking to his room, Lindsey walked by us, I'm assuming to go see Y/N. I almost said hi to her, but then remembered I'm dead. Still not used to that thought.

We entered Gerard's room and found his unconscious body lying in the hospital bed. He was definitely the worst out of all of them. 

I can't get the last images of him out of my head, nor him screaming for me. My older brother watched me bleed out and die because I was an idiot. Now he looked almost as lifeless as I do now. Well, maybe not that bad.

"Don't cry, darling. He'll pull through." My grandmother tried to comfort me.

"It's not that. Because of my idiocy, my older brother had to watch me die. I left behind a woman who I love with every single fiber of my being and I have three children that will never know me. It's my fault." I sobbed.

"It's not your fault. Your time was up, everyone has a time limit. Yours, unfortunately was too soon. There's nothing you can do to stop fate." She quickly pulled me into a tight hug, just like the ones she used to give.

"I just want to be with them again."