Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe (review book)

• Do Dil Mil Rhae Hai

Author: A_Girl_Lost_In_World

Reviewer: amaya_kashaf

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Amplify (Cover)

The cover isn't good, but it isn't bad either.

I didn't find it suitable according to the theme of your story. It's an arranged marriage tale, so the hint of it or little essence of it is needed in the cover. Other than that, the selection of pictures is great.

Accent (Title)

'Do dil mil rahe hai' common but apt for the story. Of course, any marriage may it be love or arrange is a connection of both the hearts. But instead of 'do' you have written 'dho' in your title which makes it absolutely wrong. The title is in Hindi and in Hindi I think you know what 'do' means.

Crescendo (Blurb)

The blurb wasn't that appealing or intriguing to me, you just mention that it is going to be an arranged marriage tale and questioned the readers, 'how they are going to face the hurdles and despite it will there love bloom?'

Also in the starting of the blurb, you have mentioned it to be 'An Arrange tale love story' it should be either only an arranged loved story or an arrange marriage tale. Using both words which have the same meanings like, tale and story in one sentence doesn't suit at all and also it's a wrong way of forming a sentence.

Hook (Prologue)

Instead of the prologue, I felt it was character sketch of both the protagonist, which it was, why don't you try adding, some blank scenes from the story which has also captivating for the readers?

Ensemble (Characters)

I have read starting chapters of your story including the prologue, and the characters which I came across were both the families of both protagonist also Manik's friends.

There were some characters which I found little confusing, Manik and Nandini's dad were best friends, and through their talks, I feel they are more than best friends like soul brothers, but after Nandini's family returned to India and Nandini wasn't having any threats on her, why didn't they approach Malhotras as soon as they reach India, and same goes for Manik and his dad, being the soul brother he should have at least approached the detectives etc.

Also, in the starting chapters, Alia has crush or obsession on Manik, one thing I really want to bring into your point of view is, as much as protagonist play important role in any story an Antagonist plays a crucial role too, and Alia being the temporary antagonist in the story, her emotions should also be given importance when Manik and Nandini both agreed to marry each other I didn't find Alia's emotions being mentioned, neither in that chapter and nor in further ones.

Hence you really need to focus on your characters' emotions.

Ballad (Plot)

Arrange marriage tale, common, but still, most of the wattpad public loves to read it and so it becomes the writer's responsibility to make the plot unique from others so you can automatically attract the readers, but unfortunately, here I found none.

Avant Grad (Storyline)

Again, I would like to say, the storyline I didn't found it intriguing. Because for one, the great mood spoiler in the story was your lack of depicting emotions. Arrange marriage is a really complicated topic even if it looks easy to write, but once you start writing you understand how complex it is to define both the protagonist's emotions.

Even if your arrange marriage is with your best friend whom you know from years, you would take at least a day to think on it and they say yes because this we are talking about the lifetime commitment, whereas in the story Nandini didn't even take a minute to say yes and correct me if I'm wrong, but she didn't even meet manik since years! How would she know how is he now, is he the same Manik as before etc, because trust has its own place but practicality matters too and same was the case with Manik but he had at least met Nandini when he said yes.

Coming to next topic there are many stories in which Alia is the villain and then dadi or Nani enters in their life creating more hurdles in the new married couple or would married couple's life, which I think really should be changed.

This type of stories are losing interest now according to me because in arrange marriage stories there are many new concepts that need to be discussed or needs light upon, so try using new concepts and enhance your storyline.

Cantabile (Grammar)

Grammar needs to be highly polished, I found no punctuation marks like a comma or exclamation mark or question mark or even periods (.) weren't used in the starting chapters, later when you used it, they were completely wrong, hence changing the whole context.

In the starting chapters, you have used UPPERCASE in the whole chapter the tools UPPERCASE or Bold, Italics should be only used for specific things only, and upper case is commonly used to show anger or yelling. Accordingly, you need to change that.
Also, quit using abbreviations or message languages in the story.

Try making conversation separate and the actions which are happening separately, like in your story it's

Nandini: hero and hugs him tight

Ideally, it should

Nandini: Hero!
As soon as Nandini saw Manik, she hugged him tight.

There also some spelling mistakes here and there like it should be the deadline whereas it is the death line.

Dolce (Reviewer's opinion)

In my honest opinion, try describing things other than giving pictures of and even if you don't want to describe the things then you should trying combining all the needed pictures in a collage and in every chapter what attires they are wearing, isn't necessary to show, the readers are eager to read the story and attires or any other pics coming in between every now and then, disturbs the flow of reading and believe me the readers do get irritated due to it.

Also, when I viewed your story page it showed you had 84 parts in the story and when I looked at the table content it showed only 35 chapters, you see a huge difference. Now it's totally upon you, to decide what you are gonna publish but as your reviewer and also a well-wisher, I would again suggest make a collage and display the pictures in the chapter itself don't make other new separate chapters for showing attires and décor of each and every event. 

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Hope we have helped you.

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