His Liability (Completed)

Chapter 10: Need

I took a sip of my coffee as I stared at the skyscrapers of Bangkok. The cold breeze of the morning enveloped me and I inhaled it, hoping that it will calm my nerves.

"You're early." I heard a baritone voice behind me and I don't have to turn around to know that it's Mew. "You're ready for school? What time are you needed in your booth?"

"Seven." I briefly said and took a sip of my coffee again.

"What do you want for breakfast?" he asked, now he walked closer to me and I can feel him behind me.

"Just cook for yourself. I'm not really hungry." I guess I should withdraw myself while it's still early. I should stop him from doing things for me. It's unnecessary anyway.

Mew stood in front of me before squatting down to face me properly. He held my knee as a support and looked at me like he's solving a puzzle.

"Is everything fine?" he asked and I bitterly smiled before nodding my head.

"Yeah. What? Is something wrong?" I lied and his forehead creased.

"You have a problem? What is it?"

I shook my head once again to deny his speculations. He doesn't need to know. My problems are mine alone and letting him know would only mean that I'm willing to share everything to him.

Last night, I was reminded that I am not like him. I'm not a normal teenager. I am flawed. I'm an evidence of a mistake and I will stay like that forever but hopefully, I can build my own name and at least change a bit on how people may perceive me in the future. Maybe not him or the other people that knows my story but at least the people that I will be meeting for the following years.

"I don't have a problem Mew. Go and prepare your breakfast. Take a shower too." I faked another smile but his impassive stares never went away.

"Why are you up early anyway?" he curiously asked.

"I woke up because of a... bad dream." I felt a pang in my chest because reality finally woke me up from my little bubble of fairytale. Reality said to stop hoping because people will only like you if you are on the same level as them. The rich is for the rich and the poor is for the poor.

"Are you really okay?" he gently asked and I nodded. "You don't look okay."

"Should I laugh all day?" I sarcastically said and he pouted in front of me. "Just go and get ready dude."

His forehead creased at my last words and I don't know why.

I let him do what he needs to do and I played with my phone the whole time just to avoid his curious stares. I know that he's looking at me but I just want to believe that he's staring at me because I am not my friendly self in the morning today.

Don't worry Mew... I will bring back the old Gulf but for now, I have to get rid of this stupid feeling inside me. I have to get rid of it to preserve the friendship and for me not to lose you. I lost a lot of people already and losing you and the others would mean total wreckage for me. I found home in our friendship and I want to keep it that way. I'm not a fan of taking risks in the first place - I would much rather fight a battle that I know I have a chance of winning than fight one without the assurance of victory.

Mew went out of his room, all dressed up and I quickly got my bag together with the things that our class needs for the booth.

"Let me help you." he offered but I declined.

"I can manage." I gave him a timid smile before going for the door. I went out straight and walked towards the lift so we can immediately go down.

I pinched my fingers as we went down to the basement. I can sense Mew's stares at me but I ignored it once again. I have to endure this until I'm confident to say that all these feelings inside me are gone.