I Want the Badboy

16. The Monster Inside

Nick's POV

I was so fucked.

I had dropped Kaylan off and I was home not knowing the next move to take. The cigarette in my hands was helping me a little, helping me to burn it down and the beer bottles everywhere. I looked more of a graceful drunk.

I had put myself in this mess. Falling for her wasn't part of the plan.

"Go through final year again. Get close to her, then get to know what she knows about her sister, then move on".

That was the plan, short and simple. It looked so easy, I'd gone through a lot of plans like this to save the Sanders clandestine.

The plan looked more of a work over but it was quite difficult because I fell in love with the target.

The first time I met her at the cafeteria, I was glad because she was the easy one to go but my first few moments with her I was drawn to her wits and intelligence.

Girls like her don't easily get over heart break but once they do they would be the one to plan your death in a neat and perfect way.

I couldn't mess with a good heart or at least I couldn't mess with her heart.

Kaylan was the girl who wanted to explore the outside world. She wanted to be a bad girl for a day and then run back to her good life when she discovers the bad world is a bit terrible.

But she seems to enjoy the bad side more than the good side but I can't let that happen. She had good plans for her life before I came in and I want her to follow the plans up.

But at the same time I can't watch those hot chocolate eyes slip from my hands and see it cry.

"OH FUCK!". I kept my cigarette down and used my hands to run through my hair.

I'm nineteen and I can't take the right decision. My days were counting in Crest Ville. I had three options already set out.

First, break up with her and move on. That would be me following the exact plan. But if I break up with her, what would be the main reason to her? She wasn't my enough! I didn't want her to pass through the hurt with first love like I did.

Second option, leave her with no God damn explanation but the fact was wherever I would be, there would be someone (her), who still has me in her heart and is hell bent on finding me to give a proper explanation for leaving her.

I could run and hide for long but this world seems to be a small world and we could come across someday on Earth maybe ten years later and since first love are hard to forget she'll still make me explain again even though she's married with kids.

Oh God!

The third option was the tricky one, tell her the whole truth. It was the impossible or the not yet possible option. The question was if I told her the truth; would she still love me the same?

It would be hard for her to sink in the truth when she learns that I'd gone through final year again, just to get close to her to get information about her sister.

I wasn't taking that risk. I couldn't just take it.

I had sworn secrecy to the Sanders clut and I had sworn secrecy to Liz, never to let anyone in on the escape plan.

"Love was what got your brother in Jail. You can't trust those sisters". Liz always say.

She felt Cassie and Kaylan had the same agenda but I had bigger doubts. I had disclosed my main reason for coming to this town to Kaylan in our truth sessions. She knew I was here to get my brother out of jail but what she didn't know was HOW!