The Monster In My Head

Chapter 18 (Edited)

Important Author's Note at the end, please read.

Saturday night, Madison was getting dressed for her first date with Max when Brian messaged her. She sat on her bed and read the message.

Brian: "Were you planning on telling me about you and Max?" 

Madison took in a deep breath, closing her eyes. He knew.

Madison: "Sorry. I didn't know how to tell you and it felt too soon... But I guess you found out anyways."

Brian: "It's okay. I get it. And yeah, my buddies were talking about it. Congrats." 

Madison felt a slight ache return to her heart as she responded:

Madison: "Are you mad?" 

His reply didn't come for another five minutes. When it did, her heart shattered.

Brian: "No... I still love you."

***

Brian couldn't kill the ache in his chest, and not far behind was the tears. Since the breakup, he had done okay. Even enjoyed her company, platonic as it was. But as he sat in his car, about to pull out of the park parking lot, it seemed like the sadness was finally hitting him.

Finally, he let the tears fall, resting his head on the steering wheel. Memories of them together went through his head, some of them at this very park. He meant what he had said. He did love her. Even if she didn't love him back.

After a full minute, he sat up and forced himself to pull it together. He started the long drive home. The night sky surrounded him, the stars seeming to be even brighter tonight.

Too late, he realized that wasn't the stars. By the time he looked back at the road, a truck was already coming straight at him. As the cars collided, he felt his world go black.

***

Madison was at some fancy restaurant with Max when she got a call. She smiled, apologizing to Max. She looked at her phone to see it was her mom.

"I should probably take this. You don't mind, do you?" Madison asked sheepishly. 

Max shook his head. "Of course not." 

She answered:

"Hello? Mom?"

"Madison... Oh my poor baby..." her mom replied, her voice broken. It sounded like she had been crying. 

Madison felt fear begin to constrict her heart. "Mom, what's going on?" 

Her mom sniffled, trying to get a full breath. "Brian's been hit. They're racing him to the ER."

It took a moment for the words to register. As they did, she felt the room beginning to spin. She gripped the table, feeling her body losing strength. Max was quickly at her side, holding her up. Tears came rushing out of her eyes as sobs threatened to wrack her body.

"Get me home, Max! Now!" she screamed.

The whole restaurant stared as Max quickly yelled out for the bill. Noticing the urgency, a waitress came immediately to do as he asked. Max paid in a rush with cash, then steered Madison out. As she left the restaurant, the last thing she heard as they walked out was a few strangers praying for her.

***

As Madison rode in the car on the way to the E.R., it felt like she was living a bad dream. Nothing felt real. Max sat on one side of her, in complete silence, his head hung, May on the other side of her was weeping. Her mom sat in the passenger seat, praying aloud and speaking in tongues. Her dad drove, a pained expression on his face. Madison simply stared out the window, not knowing how to feel.

After a long, dreadful drive, they finally reached the hospital and parked. They jogged inside and her mom quickly waved a nurse down.

"We're here to see Brian Cohen." 

A grim expression fell on the nurse's face. "Miss, I can't—"

"Let them go," a shaky voice said. 

The five turned to see Mrs. Cohen. Tears rushed to Mrs. Vernon's eyes at her dear friend. She ran forward, wrapping her up in a tight hug. 

May, no longer able to watch, turned to the nurse. "You heard her. Where's my best friend?"

"He's been moved to the ICU. He's in a coma, but there isn't much more they can do." 

Madison felt her legs go weak beneath her, but Max caught her. 

Mrs. Vernon finally pulled away. "Please take us to him." 

The nurse nodded, leading them to the room.

She opened the door and stepped aside. Everyone else walked in, but Madison hesitated at the doorway. Max returned to her side and put his arm around her, encouraging her inside.

She stood at the foot of his bed and stared at the beautiful face that once gazed upon her, now bloodied and battered. Like the way she felt. It made her chest hurt so bad that she felt an intense need to release that pain somehow.

It wasn't until Max took her right hand that she realized she had begun to dig her sharp, long nails into her palm to the point that it began bleeding. The nurse noticed and quickly bandaged her palm, then gazed at her soberly.

"Are you sure you can handle being in here?" she asked her as her family and boyfriend stared at her in concern. 

Madison paled from the attention but nodded slightly.

The nurse didn't seem convinced but left them anyways, but not before whispering to Max to watch her. Madison sat down in a chair and stared once more. As it finally hit her, she gave in once again to rushing, crashing, painful tears. Tears she wasn't sure how to stop.

Author's Note

...

I'm so, SO sorry.

I didn't want to write this. I didn't want to publish it. I hate the thought that I might've offed someone's favorite character.

And I'm so sorry to anyone who's lost someone. Or even just feels like they've lost someone, those times when the person's still alive but things are no longer the same.

Life is freaking unfair. And most of the time when stuff like this happens, we cannot even begin to see where good can come from it.

But we try anyways. If a person we love dies of cancer, we spread awareness and try to collect funding to help others that are struggling. If someone we love or ourselves struggle with depression and maybe even give in a time or two, we become softer to other people, in hopes no one will have to feel that same pain. When a black man dies because a police officer is kneeing him in the throat as the man begs for air, we protest. Sometimes the protests become violent and it makes the peaceful ones become overlooked, but we don't stop speaking up.

Why?

Why do we go through all of this bull crap just for something unfair to happen again?

Because it's all we can do. 

I believe in a God that is going to someday end all of this nightmare. But if you don't, that's ok. I won't pretend I don't understand where you're coming from. But the point stands, there's only so much we, as humans, can do. But as humans, we've also got the freaking bull headed determination that we're gonna do our best.

And when we see, we've helped just one person, we've changed just one thing, one heart. Well, it makes tomorrow a little more worth it. Hold on to that.

Anyways...

Enough of that... Here's the important part. I've decided to switch up the update schedule on this story. Because of the heavier topics that are about to be covered, I no longer feel comfortable double uploading in one day. That's too much for me and I feel that's too much for the reader emotionally and mentally.

But I want to continue getting two uploads a week on this book. So I'm changing it to Mondays and Fridays. So instead of getting an update Sunday, like we usually do, the next update will be on Monday. See you then and God bless.