nir·va·na
a state of perfect happiness; an ideal or idyllic place.
where we see what happens when an emptiness that one thought could never be filled is overflowing. when two lost souls find each other. where a broken record plays a perfect harmony...
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I don't really need to look very much further I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow I won't hold it back again, this passion inside Can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide
Na'imah sung to herself, as I Have Nothing played through her AirPods. She was having a particularly hard day as her mother's birthday approached slowly. This was her mom's favorite song to sing, Whitney was her favorite singer, and she sounded beautiful every time she sung it.
She remembered seeing her mom sing it to her father, while they stood in the living room, just swaying slowly. She'd never forget the look in her dad's eyes, like he was hypnotized by the beauty of Safiyyah's voice. Na'imah was the same way, she could never turn away when her mother sang.
She still remembered the day of their service, I Will Always Love You was the one of the songs playing, as she looked at her parents faces for the final time, and to this day—she couldn't listen to it.
Na'imah tried to hold it together all day, but her parents hadn't left her mind, and it was weighing heavily on her heart. She could look in the mirror, and look into her own eyes that she inherited from her father—and she'd be tearing up.
She leaned against the kitchen counter, watching a tear drop from her eye on to the sleek counter top, and that one turned into a flood. She was sobbing silently before she knew it, sliding down to the floor and holding her head in her hands.
"Hey Na—oh shit" she heard Kilo say, entering the kitchen. She quickly stood up, furiously wiping at her face. "What's wrong?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing up. Na'imah shook her head and tried to stop constant flow of tears coming down her face.
"Listen—I know we ain' have the best start, but we friends now an' I'on like seein' you cry like dis. If you comfortable, you ca' talk ta' me about it? Maybe it'll help?" she offered, walking over to Na'imah. She truly looked broken crying like this.
"I—it's j-just," she sniffed, wiping her face again. "My mama birthday—it's comin up. I miss my mama an' my daddy so much an-and it just get so hard around their birthdays. I wish—I just wanna celebrate wit' em, just see em one more time but I can't," she tried to explain as best she could.
"I'm sorry," Kilo frowned. "I unda'stand how you feelin'. Me an' Pop lost our mama too. Sometimes, it helps ta' keep the memories alive as best you can—even if it hurt bad like dis. It just show you care and you still thinkin' bout em. I know they watchin' you too, they proud'a you," she said comfortingly. She never was good with things like this, but she wanted to make Na'imah feel better.
"I ain' doin' nothin fa' them ta' be proud of," she chuckled bitterly.
"Girl what? You livin! You survivin'. You in school, you was working a long time. You a good friend, you a good person. They proud they daughter down here doin everything she was meant ta' do," she continued. "You'n gotta be doin nothin' extravagant, you livin', and I'm sure that's all they wanted fa' you," she rubbed her arm up and down.
