Sinister [Jason McCann]

Seven

Lea's POV --

Anxiety. Anxiety......anxiety.

 

That’s the simplest way to express myself right now. If that’s even a correct way to express myself for the matter. I was anxious the moment I ended the phone call conversation between Jason and I yesterday.

 

Telling him where the school was wasn’t the hard part. Actually walking out and getting into his car is going to be. I can’t seem to picture myself having the guts the cut school altogether. I don’t know what ran through my mind and urged my head to nod and agree with the idea of spending a day with Jason, rather than being in school. Lana said she’d take the blame for my wrongdoings but that’d only leave me to feel guilty for her in the long run. I wish I had thought of all these consequences when it was appropriate.

 

Since that time, I’ve just been awaiting the moment Jason would call or text me. School was about to start, I was waiting in the bathroom patiently. If the minutes continued to drag out, I’d probably crack from the pressure and run to class. Kira was texting me, letting me know she’d be late to school as usual. She also wished me good luck while I was out with Jason. God knows I’ll need all the luck I can get while I’m out with him...

 

Knowing me, I’ll probably screw everything up. I’ll probably slur my words like some drunk who just got pulled over for driving over the speed limit. Or maybe, I’ll laugh at something a little too hard when it wasn’t even that funny. I’m the definition of a blind man walking in a mine field.

 

The bell rings and the hallways were an endless uproar of footsteps and papers scattering through the air and the floor. Doors were opening and slamming shut and I could hear a combination of boys and girls yelling for their friends to move a little faster. Lockers slam shut and more girls were gossiping and talking as they made their way towards their first period class. Soon enough, it was quiet and I drew in a breath.

 

“Ok.” I say quietly, turning around to face myself in the mirror.

 

My hands grip the sides of the sink bowl, clutching it dearly. I stared into my own eyes, studying myself. Gradually, I shift my gaze down to take a look at the outfit I wore. As I look at it now, I began to have second thoughts on it.

 

I wore a simple black cardigan, for the purpose of keeping my arms hidden. Underneath, I was somewhat forced to wear a gray tank top which I tucked into my shorts. I wasn’t used to exposing my legs this much but I had gotten rid of the damage on my legs months ago thanks to plenty of cocoa butter and other products. As for the shirt, it gave my breasts a bit of a lift, meaning they were more exposed than usual and the bra I wore had played a huge part in that. It felt wrong to dress like this but Kira insisted.

 

I didn’t dare to show Lana, she’d probably think I was transforming into some flaming slut or something.

 

“I can do this.” I nod, looking down at my shoes. Simple flats that matched with my cardigan. “I mean, he’s just another guy. I’ll just be myself. Easy enough.”

 

I keep nodding, trying my best to keep my thoughts from hitting the breaks and making a U-Turn. Confidence was the personality trait I wished for the most, especially at times like these. How the hell am I supposed to leave a huge impression on someone like Jason?