Lucid Memories

Chapter 22

1st Person POV

I sat under our promise tree. It was the best place to rest a book at and for me it was our meeting place. I could remember the day I meet you. A little ball of energy that seemed to explode in excitement in front of anything new to her. A gorgeous sunny day, flowers blooming that could—make you felt loved—it easily complimented her radiance. The glow that seemed to shiny brighter than the Sun that hovered over us. She was my light.

My parents were busy dealing with work and forgot about their own son. Not like I care. It was almost... too natural that I never felt the pain of it. I was never presented with the opportunity to experience the pleasure of it. So, of course it affected my decisions. But that that also meant like I never had the chance to feel compassion towards others—and as well as receive it for myself. I was just a lonely child. The village's curse. A kid just flowing with whatever happened and but doing anything that could have prevented it. So when I met her, I was persistent in keeping the first light—my light—I saw.

A girl younger than me who happen to had all the energy from our tiny village in Moscow. She made everyone feel welcomed. She gave us hope to our failing town. Helping others around the village. Taking care of the villagers. Playing with the children. Talking to me...

I couldn't help but laugh at first. Some weirdo from Japan has moved all the way to Germany. For what? I don't know. I wasn't really on the good side of the village.

I dedicated my life into my books—the only think that won't judge me. That's how I was branded intelligent by my parents and a curse by my village—having the gloom being able to consume and stead towards others. They blamed me—a lonely kid who was just wanted affection. Instead, all I got was hate and bruises. The pain of being ridiculous humiliated by people—who were fundamentally like me—was too much on a kid—on me. My eyes were another reason too. As usually as they were, I'm not a monster because of them—is what I would say. Having them almost rip out my eyes... I couldn't help but to think it was the last straw. Was it too much to ask for a little love...?

Why I must be classified as a monster—branded as a curse... when I did nothing wrong? I sat in my room often, just to think about it. Maybe that's why I was so sickly pale and underweight. It wasn't healthy—I know. But... it hurts... Having people frame you in such light... is it possible they were just too worried? Or it is my childish mind set that is why I think they could be ever redeemed. I just want to tell future me if I'd ever find happiness? Somehow, I think I knew the answer to that question...

Of course n—

Yet, the girl always smiled, helping me in anyway she could. Even being able to fix my reputation with the villagers. Despite the cold rejection I'd have given like any other day. I wanted to believe she was different.  Maybe a soul that could understand mine. [Eye Colour] gemstones similar to my mother's necklace. A strange—I must admit—style of [Hair Colour] locks but that was it's own beautiful charm. The way she'd tilt her head to the side with foreign innocent was stunning. She had times were she'll act older—more mature and understanding than her age—than any villagers. She was a growing kid with some many things riding for her. And yet, she was her own curse. The ability to infatuation anything and anybody by just talking to her—looking at her—being with her. She was perfect. I couldn't help but developing a bit of a "crush", something I remember was in a romance novel before. So anytime she would be there for me, I couldn't help but realize it each passing day. But yet... she was too perfect.