fix you (13rw)

Chapter 5

Charlie

Do you ever feel like you were always the life of the party but never the life of your own party. Like your only purpose in life is to serve people and make them happy. Make your family proud, make your friends laugh, lead your football team to victory.

I was always a great listener, thats what my friends always tell me. If carrying the weight of other people's problem was a job then I would be the employee of the year. I wouldnt really call myself an introvert but I rarely talk to people about my life, my secrets, my yearnings.

Knowing more about myself was never someone else's priority, no one really cared to ask me how I was, but today I learned something new about myself. When you are with the right person, no matter how secretive you are, diving in to touchy and personal topics is not that difficult.

I got a text message from Alex Standall after lunch, asking me if I was free. Maybe it was the lonely side of me but I quickly replied yes. Alex seemed different from everyone, in a world full of illusion and fakeness, I saw something real on Alex Standall. Maybe it was just the selfless side of me, desperate to carry another person's weight and pain on my shoulder. When I saw him cry in my car I knew he was bearing a weight on his chest. A load that maybe I could help in.

"Is this your usual order?" My mouth was watering from Alex's drink, it was a strawberry milkshake with two scoops of chocolate ice cream on top, with whipped cream. With a freaking whipped cream.

"Nah. I always try something new everytime I go here," Alex smirked. Poking the whipped cream with his finger and then licking it. "Is that your usual order?"

We were both looking at my drink. A plain hot chocolate. How freaking boring. Alex was probably not impressed, and ofcourse I wanted to impress Alex on our first date. A friendly date or our first hang out session whatever you straight people call it.

"Uh," For a second I thought of lying, and tell him how I usually go for some fancy drink I couldnt even pronounce, so that I could impress him. "Actually. Yeah. Does it bore you?"

"No," Alex smiled at me and I felt my heart skip two beats before going back to normal. "I think its cool."

"Well thank you, I try." I joked. Alex took a sip of his milkshake using a metal straw. He cares about the environment? I couldnt help but feel intrigued. Who are you Alex Standall?

"So," I took a sip of my hot chocolate and I immediately regret doing it, I didnt want to act like a lame asshole in front of Alex so I acted as if the drink didnt burn my tongue as if Satan himself didnt directly pee inside my mouth. Amusement was forming on Alex's lips. I cleared my throat. "Why did you want to hang out all of a sudden?"

"You said I owe you one right?" Alex was a fast drinker, he was already halfway through his strawberry milkshake. "This is me paying you for driving me home."

"So tell me about yourself Alex Standall." I beamed at him.

"Nothing to tell," I could feel his walls coming up like the great wall of China, I wanted to tear it down with my bare hands but I didnt want to scare him away. "Just going through some shit right now."

"Some shit, as in the reason why you were alone at the school parking lot yesterday?"

"Yeah." His answers were short, it was obvious that he didnt want to talk about it.

"Dont tell me you're selling drugs?" I jokingly whispered, trying to lighten up the mood. I peaked in inside him but he quickly closed the door, not letting me in just yet.