fix you (13rw)

Chapter 32

Alex

"Hey," I tapped Zach's shoulder, he was on his way to the cafeteria. His face looked like he saw a ghost when I appeared behind him. There was something in his eyes, those two beautiful orbs looked tired and different. "Can we talk?"

"Alex," Zach changed his expression, I heard him exhale before smiling at me I knew Zach and that smile was forced. "Sure."

"Follow me." I didnt know where to take Zach, but I just needed a place where it was just the two of us. I peeked  inside the boys restroom. No one was inside. I entered, followed by Zach. I pressed the lock on the door knob.

"Is there something wrong?" Zach's voice was a mixture of worry and defeat. I grabbed his hand, held on it tight.

"Don't hate me okay?" Inhale, exhale. Would I hate Zach if one day he tells me he kissed another guy while we were together? I'd be jealous, pissed even.

"What?" He chuckled nervously, biting the side of his lower lip. "Are you going to break up with me again?"

"No," Does he really think I could break up with him again? The reason why I broke up with him was to give him time and space to think. I knew being with him would only pressure him to do something he might regret, like coming out to his mom without thinking of the consquence. "I would never."

"Yeah, I dont think I could stomach seeing you with someone else." The way he was holding my hand felt like he didnt want to let go, it was tight but careful. "Not right now."

Hearing his words, was like a gun that wasnt aimed at me yet I still got shot. Bulletholes from head to toe. Should I keep it from Zach? I knew deep down, that Zach would feel destroyed if I tell him what Winston did. What I did. Winston was not the only one at fault when he kissed me.

Thinking about the kiss only made my stomach churn. I felt sick, nervous and sweaty. Should I tell Zach? I mean, Winston would never tell him, I could just keep it from him. My mind wanted to keep Zach safe from harm but my heart knew Zach would rather get burned than not know the truth.

"Zach," My lips were dry and I could hear my heart beating on both of my ears. Zach deserved to know the truth, whatever his reaction was, it would be valid and I would respect it. "You remember Winston right?"

"Yes." I was sure Zach still remembered Winston, they already met once when we were at Monet's. Zach was waiting for me to continue, he looked lost, like his mind was somewhere else while listening to my confession.

"We hung out last night after class. He... He kissed me when we were in his house but I pushed him away." His eyes looked sad, he wasnt liking what he was hearing but he had no choice but to listen. "He kissed me again when he drove me home and I kind of kissed him back."

Zach was silent, but I could see it in his face that he was having a hard time processing what I told him. The veins on his arms were tense. His hands were closed, his fist were shaking.

"It only lasted for a few seconds," I defended myself. I didnt want him to think that I was cheating on him with someone else. "I pushed him away and told him to never do it again."

"Zach," I spoke softly, the walls of the restroom could barely hear it. Zach was looking at my chest, he was avoiding my eyes. "Say something."

I was expecting for Zach to scream at me, tell me that I was an asshole. Condemn me for kissing another guy. Zach didnt do any of those, his demeanor changed, his body were no longer tensed but it was slumped. He accepted what happened, his defeat. He took a step forward and wrapped his muscled arms around me, he burried his face on my neck.

"Zach," I couldnt bring myself to hug him back. The guilt was still eating me from the inside. "Im sorry."

"Just," Zach whispered to my ear. I missed feeling his breath on my skin. "Just dont leave me okay?"

"I would never." I whispered back. I swallowed my guilt and shame, I slowly wrapped my arms on his back.

We were there for minutes. We were just there, two boys standing inside a locked boys restroom, clinging on to each other as if their lives were depending on it.

Zach pulled back gently, the heaviness that I saw from his eyes earlier were stil there, but there was now a splash of  light, of hope.

"Thank you for telling me, Alex." He paused for a second, he was thinking about something and then decided ti shrug it off. "I appreciate your honesty."

"You're not mad?" To say that I was surprised was an understatement.

"I cant be mad, I need you right now, more than ever. I cant afford to lose you, Alex." Zach admitted, for a second I thought he was talking about something else.

"Zach," I looked directly into his eyes, maybe it would give me answers. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Zach's voice was implying otherwise. "Just thinking about alot of things."

"Like what?" Let me in, Zach.

"I-," He stopped himself from continuing. "Nevermind. Its nothing."

"Peter told me you were looking for me yesterday." Maybe it was connected, why would he come into our house. He knew my dad would literally kill him if he saw him near me outside of school. Why would he risk that?

"Its nothing, Alex." I wanted him to tell me if there was something wrong, but I would never force it out of him. "Dont worry about it."

"You'll tell me if theres something wrong, right?" What was going through your head, Zach? Let me atleast peek, if you couldnt let me in. He nodded and hugged me again, this time I didnt hesitate to hug him back.

"Just dont leave me okay?" The way he said it made me think that there was something more to his words. 

Believe me when I say this. I will say this once but maybe even more in our future but I would rather die than leave you, Zach Dempsey.

-

Dont hate me for posting late and for doing this to Zalex.

Okay, I already did this on my Clustin story but If you are reading this Author's note, please leave a song that reminds you of this story or just Zalex in general. I would make a playlist for this story and it would consist of songs from me and the songs you guys suggested.

- G