fix you (13rw)

Chapter 28

Alex

Days had passed after my break up with Zach. There were times that I had to stop myself from messaging him, calling him to tell him that I want him back. No, that would be selfish. Zach needed to figure things out on his own, not exactly on his own, I promised him I would still be his friend.

But I didnt want to force Zach to come out of the closet. The moment I heard it come out of his mouth, I knew we needed to take a break from each other. Coming out was a very risky and intimate thing to do, it would be different for everybody. My parents accepted me, but that doesnt mean that Zach's mom would accept him too.

I told him that if he was going to come out, he had to come out for himself. When it was sure and safe, not because he wanted to prove his love for me. Because, Zach, I already know how much you love me.

The Luke Holliday incident was already forgiven, I would never hold a grudge over Zach for freezing, for not choosing what to do between fight or flight. Yes, he punched me, but it was nothing I couldnt handle. The school's prinicipal suspended Luke for a week and gave Zach a three days detention for punching me. I tried pleading to the principal. He understood my situation but he said it would be unfair to Luke if they didnt punish Zach, who was also a part of the incident. Rules are rules.

For the past days, I attended our usual lunch set up with our friends. They showed their concern, asked me and Zach if we were okay, but none of them mentioned the part about our secret relationship that Luke leaked to the whole school.

But today, I decided to change that, I told Justin that I wouldnt be able to join them for lunch. I went to the library, were it was peace and quiet. I wanted a change of scenery and to be quite honest, I didnt want to see Zach. Because the longer I see him, the more I wanted to just say fuck it and be with him again. Not yet, Alex.

I wouldnt say I feel lonely but the feelimg of being alone was new, it felt alien. The library was silent, there were less people in here compared to the last time I was here.

Instead of a book, I was using my phone, earphones in both of my ear. I opened my Youtube app and started scrolling, looking for an interesting video to watch. I clicked the first video that came up, it was Blackpink's How You Like That music video.

This was the first time I watched and listened to Kpop purposely and all I could say was that they were great and they deserved the hype they were getting. The asian features of the girls singing on my screen reminded me of Zach.

I was about to look for another video when I felt someone tap my shoulder, I took off my earphones and looked behind me.

"Hey," It was Charlie St. George. "I didnt know you like Kpop."

"I dont," I closed my phone and hid it in my front pocket. "I mean, I do now, I guess."

"Was that Blackpink?" Charlie asked. I answered him with a nod. "I love them, Jisoo is my favorite."

Charlie sat down beside me, he placed his backpack on the table. Thinking about the last time Charlie and I were in the library, the things we did, brought heat on both of my cheeks.

"Why are you here?" It was already too late before I realized how rude it might sound but Charlie was well, Charlie.

"Because I want to study," But I sensed that it was not his reason. "Last time I checked you dont own the Library Mr. Standall."

I couldnt help but laugh at his comment. I missed the guy, he was also a big part of my story. He was there for me when Zach rejected me. I loved him and he would always have a special place in my heart.

"Alex," He paused for a second, he licked his lips, thinking about what to say next. "Im so sorry about Luke. I had a feeling he was on to something when we saw each other at Monet's. I should have trusted my instinct."

"Its not your fault." It was no ones fault but Luke for being a homophobic asshole.

"I still let it happen and he was my teammate," Charlie puffed. "I feel like it was also my responsibility."

"It's not, Luke is his own person. If were going to blame someone, it would be me and Zach because we gave Luke control over us, our relationship." I gave Charlie a soft smile. "Don't be too hard on yourself."

"Luke's suspended for a week." Charlie told me.

"So I've heard." My family already knew my secret, the whole school too. I no longer fear Luke, I would beat the shit out of him, eventhough he was twice my size.

"Coach also kicked him out of the team," He brought out books from his bag. "How's Zach?"

"We're taking a break," I admitted. "Just giving him time and space to figure things out, to grow. I dont know, maybe we both need it."

"Oh," Charlie opened his book, but he was looking at me. "You guys will be fine. You guys are endgame already. I'm so jealous... I'm not jealous of Zach for having you, dont worry. I'm totally over you."

"Okay," I smiled. "Fair enough."

"I mean Im jealous because I want to find my Zach too. Or Alex."

"You'll find him."

"I wish," He scoffed. "There's like ten gay students here in our school and if they're not in a relationship, they're not exactly my type."

"You'll find him, Charlie." I adviced. "You just got to look. Like, really look."

"I guess," He was now focusing on his book, highlighting the important parts. "Im going to study, you can go back to your Kpop now."

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We finally reached 10k reads! Oh my god! Thank you so much. I promise I'll try my best to not disappoint you guys with this story. You all deserve the best.

Also stan Blackpink.

- G