fix you (13rw)

Chapter 8

Zach

Anger. I let the rage of anger and irritation control my body. Waking up was bad, I felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Actually, I felt like I woke up on the wrong bed and in the wrong body. I shouldnt be feeling these things. I should be happy for Alex, congratulate him for finally finding someone who could love him the way he wanted me to love him.

I tried though. I fucking tried, but I couldnt summon the strength to be joyous for him. Thinking about Charlie and Alex together leaves a depressing feeling in my stomach. I have no idea why.

Or maybe I do but I was just afraid to admit it?

School was a pain in the ass because no matter how hard I try avoiding Alex would be impossible because Alex and I have the same circle of friends and my only alternative set of people to hang out with during breaks are my football teammates and Charlie was a part of it.

There was one news that almost shed a light on my shitty day. Clay told me Justin was back from rehab, finally sober and healthy. I wrote a mental reminder to myself to hug Justin when I see him today and to tell him how proud I was of him.

"Justin sent me a picture of his class schedule," I've never heard Clay sound so cheerful. I get it though, his brother is back. "I think he has the same schedule with Tyler and Alex."

I winced at the mention of Alex's name. I didnt respond. I clenched my fist. Release this anger Zach.

Clay knew something was wrong but he had no idea Alex and I were falling apart.

"Are you okay?" Clay whispered, making sure our strict teacher wouldnt hear us.

"Just not feeling well." I replied. Which wasnt entirely a lie.

"Do you want to go the nurse's office?" He asked, sounding worried but calm at the same time.

"No," I forced a smile at him to slightly assure him. "I'll be fine."

Lunch break was terrible. I didnt eat not because I wasnt hungry but because I knew Alex would be there with our friends. I didnt want to see him. So I asked my Physics teacher if I could stay in the classroom to study. He was nice and allowed me as long as I wouldnt make any noise.

Time flew past. I just wanted to get out of this place. I dont want to be near Alex. I had a class with Jessica and she wouldnt stop interrogating me why I wasnt there during lunch break. I told her I wasnt feeling well but knowing Jessica, she didnt buy it. I didnt care though.

One more thing and Im out of here. Football practice. And charlie would be there.

"Hey Zachy." Charlie smiled at me. I wanted to punch his stupid face.

Does he even know Alex kissed me? Does he know he had feelings for me? Does he know Alex told me about their relationship? Does he know that he is stealing away my best friend?

I nodded at him. No friendly smile, no anything. I was furious all of a sudden. Seeing his face in person. Thinking of Alex. How they kissed, how they probably did more than that already.

I clenched my knuckles. I wont let it get to me. I told myself.

Coach's whistle rang into my eard. He was shouting at us to get back on the field. It was a friendly practice between me and my teammates, one is being lead by Charlie and the other one by me.

I couldnt fucking lose to Charlie. But you already did.

I could feel my whole body swimming in a pool of sweat. Charlie's team was winning, a few points above our team. I was enraged, everything was coming back to me. Charlie is winning, just like how he won Alex.

I looked at the other side of the field. Charlie was there, guarding. I was holding the ball. My thoughts were a mess. I just needed a few points. I couldnt let Charlie win again.

So I ran, not giving a shit about anythig else. It was the fastest I have ran in my entire life. I was panting, breathing like a wild animal. I couldnt let Charlie win. I was lost in my own head filled with malice and anger.

"What the fuck Zach?" I heard Coach's voice roaring through the field. Followed by a scream of agony.

Charlie's back was on the floor. He was shrieking in pain. Oh no.

"Call the medic!" Coach shouted at my teammates. What have I done.

I didnt want to hurt anyone. I said to myself. My thoughts were intterupted by Charlie's screams. I looked down at him. Coach and some of our teammates were beside him, calming him down. His left arm was dislocated and I couldnt stop hearing Charlie's voice. He was crying. I wanted to throw up.

"Im sorry, I-" I muttered but I couldnt finish what I was saying. I didnt mean to hurt anyone.

Coach looked at me, he just shook his head, obviously disappointed.

The medic came and took Charlie to the nurse's office. I approached our coach and he just dismissed me.

"We'll talk tomorrow." I let coach down. Just like how I let Alex down. "Just please, dont make me kick you out of the team Zach."

I didnt know what to do. I fucked up. Charlie was a nice person. We werent the closest friends but he was my teammate and I hurt him badly. He was the team's quarterback, I just detroyed his future because I was jealous and my ego was stepped on.

I was not an evil person but good people does evil things when they feel cornered and hopeless.

Instead of going home I found myself knocking on the nurse's office. The room was cold from the aircondition, I could feel my sweat drying from the room's temperature.

The room was empty except for the school nurse, Charlie and Alex, two of the reason why I felt like I was going insane. Charlie was lying on the bed. Alex was beside him with an anxious expression on his face.

"Im sorry." I blurted out. There was nothing else to say but those two words.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Alex was glaring at me. "Why did you do it?"

I could feel his words, they were bullets
and I was taking all of it. Letting it hit every single part of my body. I deserved it.

"I didnt kno-" I was interrupted by Alex's booming voice.

"Bullshit!" Alex stood up. If looks could kill, I would be dead by now. "Are you getting back at me huh?"

"No-"

"Then why?"

I didnt know. I just wanted to win something after I lost you Alex.

"Why?!" Alex shouted at me.

"Hey, Alex. It was an accident," It was Charlie, he was groggy from the medicines he took. "I forgive you Zach."

The nurse asked me to leave the room because I was causing a scene.

"Im sorry." I whispered to no one before leaving.

Im sorry for rejecting you. Im sorry for expecting things to go back to normal. Im sorry for accusing you of lying. Im sorry for not supporting you. Im sorry for hurting the person you love. Im sorry Alex.

-

Oh Zach! Why?! Facepalm!

Guys this story is on number 45 on the #lovewins, number 567 on the #bisexual and 126 on the #13reasonswhy hashtag! Thank you guys!

Also Justin is back so that means I'll start the spin-off Clustin story. Check it out on my profile, The title is Everglow, I just posted the first chapter. That Clustin story and this one is on the same universe, they will crossover from time to time.

The new clustin fic is on my profile go look it up (https://my.w.tt/YRLKCiani7)

- G