Fallen Angel | k.sj

Jaehwa's Diary

Entry 1
Dear Diary,
Hi there. I'm like decades late cuz what 18 year old does this right? Haha, well I thought I'd try because I think I met someone. And I'm scared because I've never felt this way about anyone. I'm putting this here so that my parents and friends don't find out. I think I might be into girls. I'm not sure how my parents would react, but I don't want to try it in case the media gets wind of it. But this girl, she's so cute and she makes me so bubbly. Ahh ok this was it for entry 1, I'll come back with more details later.
~Jaehwa

Entry 2
Dear Diary,
Today the girl and I walked to class together. It's funny, we've been in the same school together but we never got to talk that much. Turns out she's pretty cool. She just seems to get me. People are often fake with me because of my parents, but she genuinely wants to be my friend. Today, I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie with me and she said yes! Holy crap I'm so excited, ok see you later.
~Jaehwa

Entry 3
Dear Diary,
Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god I just came back from the movie! It was so cute, she literally makes my heart pound! At one point she laid her head on my shoulder and I actually thought I'd die. I feel on cloud nine around her. AHHHH WHAT DO I DO?! I really really like her, but I'm not sure if she's even into girls. Maybe I should ask. Also, I don't think I'll write her name in here in case my parents ever find this. I want to protect her from everything.
~Jaehwa

Entry 4
Dear Diary,
Holy shit I did it. I confessed my feelings. Really stupidly though. I literally put a note in her book and then ran away like a coward. Well here's to...holy shit she just texted me. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SHE SAID SHE FELT THE SAME!!! HOLY SHIT SHE JUST ASKED ME OUT! OMG WE'RE DATING!!! I have to go, see you later.
~Jaehwa

Entry 5
Dear Diary,
Wow it has been a hot minute since I wrote here. Well we've been dating for a month now. In secret of course. We go on super fun dates and every so often she'll peck my cheek. Oh gotta go, she's calling.
~Jaehwa

Entry 6
Dear Diary,
Yikes it's been a while again. We've been going strong for almost three months now. I'm here because I'm literally shaking! Today, we had our first kiss! It was so sweet and delicate. I thought I was in heaven. She told me that I was the sweetest thing she had ever known. She said that she wanted to take care of me and make me hers. She promised. I'm gonna say it, I think I love her. I'd do anything for her. Nothing could chase me away from her. For the first time, I feel genuinely loved and I genuinely love her. I'd even die for her.

Entry 7
Dear Diary,
Okay so today was kinda weird. The whole school is still reeling after Haewon's death. I mean I wasn't close to her but Haewon and I had met on several occasions due to our parents. She seemed nice enough. Why would anyone ever want to hurt her? We as a senior class were hurting and shocked. My girlfriend was looking a little pale so I asked her if she was okay but she kind of freezed me out. She and Haewon weren't close, but I understood it might be a lot for her to handle. When I asked her about it later she totally changed the subject. I hope she's okay.
~Jaehwa

Entry 8
Dear Diary,
The weirdest thing happened today! So it's been a few days since Haewon's death and everyone has been super upset and unsettled. I was with my girlfriend and randomly she said "it's like someone decided to teach her rich parents a lesson and take what was most precious from them the way they had taken from others." It was kinda weird. She had never expressed displeasure in wealthier people, so of course when I heard this I got worried that she secretly hated me or something. But she told me that I was different. And that she loved me. I'm worried about her. Maybe I should talk to her about a therapist.
~Jaehwa

Entry 9
Dear Diary,
God I'm sobbing into my pillow and it's like 3 AM right now. My girlfriend and I got into a really bad fight. She said she was tired of being hidden. She hated sneaking around but when I told her why she freaked out. I admit she probably was feeling pretty hurt by that. I always put up the photos of us acting like friends but all the photos of us kissing and stuff, I'd make her keep them. I really am just trying to protect her. But I heard her mumble something like "all you rich people are ashamed of the poorer ones." I'm kind of nervous. Maybe I'll talk to her tomorrow.
~Jaehwa

Entry 10
Dear Diary,
Today, I'm doing something totally crazy. And by crazy I mean definitely illegal. But I'm doing it so that my girlfriend feels that I'm proud of us. I'm so scared we'll get in trouble, but for her, I'm willing to do anything. I'm heading out soon, but I'll come back and write some more into this entry, so don't go anywhere. See ya in a few...