The Bittersweet

chapter thirteen - scouts honour

Author's Note:
This chapter is dedicated to @expiredyakault for voting and giving me the cutest comments that motivated me to continue writing. Thank you.<3

I couldn't remember getting home. One minute I was in Ethan's car; the next in my bed. I stared at the morning sunlit walls of my bedroom, numb and half awake.

Damien. I saw Damien.

I don't want him in my head. I don't want how he looked, or the way his voice sounded deeper, or the new ink etched into his skin to be the only things I see and hear when I close my eyes. Suddenly I wanted the not knowing of where he was to be back, the uncertainty of how he was or who he was with to be back and outweigh the overwhelming feelings.

My vision blurred, the tears pooling at the corner of my eyes ready to spill upon a single blink. What do I have to do now? I didn't get anything out of that but the reopening of healing wounds.

I sit up breathing in deeply letting the morning tears roll softly down my cheeks. My fingers run through my hair over and over again, feeling the soft tufts and tangles loosen.

It was quiet, the soft morning glow lit my white walls peacefully. I twiddled my thumbs focusing on my breathing and straightening out my back. One problem at a time, but what do I do now?

Reflexively I pull my phone off charge, lay back and scroll through the notifications on my lock screen. Messages from mom and dad came up last, the most recent from Wes, Romero, Dakota and surprisingly; Ethan and Riley.

Wes and Rom texted words of comfort and the assurance of coffee and breakfast whenever I woke. I shot them a quick short reply letting them know I'm awake and allowed them to handle the rest.

Dakota texted short specific details, something she does when there's too much to say but she'd rather talk in person about it. I sent back short responses alike according to the details of 'Wes. Rom is mad. Damien. Shit can't say Damien. Riley and Ethan wow.' - and that was all I got from her.

I clicked Riley's message open next,

Riley :

Hey May, I don't really know what to say about what happened but I just wanted to tell you that I'm here for you if you need. I get that you have Wes and Rom and Daks but if you ever need someone to just sit and read with. I'm here.

Also I think you are the strongest most beautiful person I know and even though I don't even know what happened, I know that you don't deserve all this. But you can get through it.

You're probably still asleep, I hope you're asleep. But when you wake or when you're feeling up for it, I'll take you for books and boba.

Goodnight May.

Tears welled up in my eyes once again. Riley was way too sweet for his own good. I swiped to read the times he sent the texts, the first two sent around 12 last night and the last at 1 in the morning. My heart melted feeling loved, immediately I text him back:

Maya :

Hey Riles, thank you so much. That made my morning. I'm holding up okay, I hope I'll be okay. I'll definitely take you up on that offer soon. Thank you.

I close his chat and open up Ethan's.

Superior Model Ethan :

Hope you're doing okay. You deserved better.

Short and sweet. I didn't know what to expect from Ethan but I think this is it. I texted back quickly.

Maya :