Come Home - Casual Sander Sides

Part 10 - Understanding

[POV Virgil]

Oh
My
Chemical
Romance.

I was just- at a loss of words for myself . Needless to say now that I was in my room and had been able to get my binder back on, I had the chance to regain my composure that I had lost mere minutes ago

I hadn't had an attack so overwhelming in ages, I had almost forgotten how painful it could get.  And that attack I just had was not one of the more merciful ones.

As I sat on my bed, zipping the same purple jacket I was wearing prior back up, I contemplated just collapsing back on the bed behind me and passing out for the rest of the night. But I knew it was a horrible idea.
Plus, Roman had said that he would wait outside my room for me , which meant he was probably still there. And after all he did for me, it would be a dickhead move to leave him out there.

But...
It didn't make sense.
I was completely sure without an doubt in my mind that he would hate me or be disgusted if he found out my secret. So why wasn't he?!
Plus, I atleast expected for him to be confused at the very minimum. But he wasn't...
He knew what I meant when I mentioned my binder & he knew to leave me alone to put it on?
There were so many things I wanted to ask him and find out. Because in all honesty, out of the rest of my roomates, he's the one I would guess knew the least about being trans and all that stuff. But it just... didn't seem that way.
I mean, I guess I was just assuming in the first place anyway...

After a minute of focusing on controlled breathing, I took a reluctant step up from being sat on the bed and made my way to my door. Extremely hesitantly, I pulled the doorknob down and pushed the door to exit. Almost right after I exited, I turned my head and saw Roman leaning outside my room next to the door. His head was tilted down to the ground and his arms folded across his chest before he noticed my presence coming out of my room.

"Virgil!" He exclaimed as he turned to face me, the suddenness of his words startling me slightly, "are you... doing ok now?"
His voice was clearly panicked, which I still was confused by, but he seemed to be trying not to go overboard in questions, at least from what I could tell, which I appreciated.

I nodded my head timidly, not sure if I would be able to bring myself to speak to him after everything that just happened.

"So... can we possibly sit down and speak about what just happened-?"
I opened my mouth, about to reject his request before he cut me off and continued his own sentence, as if he knew what I was going to say.
"I really do think it'll be a good thing to do. I only want to make sure you're ok, I don't want you to panic or anything. And I won't make you answer any questions you don't want to!"

Hearing him continue to push his request made me think about it further for an instant. I guess I kinda owed him an explanation, or at minimum some elaboration as to everything that just went down. Better I give the explanation than Roman going off to Patton or even Logan for an explanation. Which reminded me, damn, Logan was gonna be the last one to find this out about me.

"U-um...yeah, sure," I accepted Romans invite to speak with him, taking a step back into my room and gesturing to invite him in. As he entered behind me, I closed my door shut and sat down on my bed. I almost half expected him to sit by my side, but he didn't, and instead he stayed stood before me. I could see his eyes glazing around my room and examining it.

It was pretty on brand for me, if I do say so myself. Lucky for me, the rooms walls were already a deep violet even before I moved in so I wouldn't have to go through the trouble of repainting them in the situation that I disapproved of the colour. Across the walls were a few of my posters from bands I admired. I'm sure they're the typical ones you're expecting, My Chemical Romance, Pierce The Veil, Set It Off, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, that kinda stuff. I mean, I couldn't help it if the music they made was good. Plus, most of it was relatable & I find that music I can relate to is always a great way to vent through. Of course my bed was pushed up against the wall of the room, adorned with many comfort blankets and a few pillows too. Across from my bed was a dresser mostly full of my clothes with a few smaller things left on top of it. There were still some other things littered around the room & of course more furniture that Patton had helped me use to decorate but those were the main things I saw Romans eyes land on.