NA YUTA 。feelings

▎twelve

"Hi Eunsol, it's Han Byul"

My smile dropped and I shifted uncomfortably.

"H-hi Han Byul,what are the odds of seeing you here"

Stupid,Stupid,Stupid. Why would you ask that? Do you really wanna hear the answer?

She replied with her sweet innocent voice "Doyoung wanted me to come and his parents told me to come too. I hope I didn't ruin the party"

I silently whimpered

"n-no,you didn't ruin anything. H-have a seat" I smiled tightly,noticing their intertwined hands.

"can I help?." Han Byul said, looking at the kitchen with all the busy people walking around and I nodded

"Doyoung,see you!" She said,walking away and leaving me with him.

Doyoung looked at me and smiled so beautifully

don't smile at me like that,idiot

"Hi Eunsol,it must be shocking to-" he reached out to grab my hand and I stepped back, he noticed my reluctance and looked at me with worry.

"I...I-i want to help the kitchen too"

I scurried out of Doyoung's sight and came to my room.

Now that I look at it,why didn't I notice them? It was so obvious.

It was so obvious why he always go to that cafe,why he knows the owners so well and why he made a fuss when Han Byul came to my class.

Everything was clear but how come I didn't notice it?

I slouched against my bedroom door and silently cried.

How will I face them now?

Suddenly,my thoughts got disturbed by a knock on my door and mother peeked in.

"Why are you locked up in here?"

I replied "I just..had to fix my make up"

Mother nodded "Okay,you ready to go? It's about time to eat dinner."

On our way down, mom talked about Han Byul and how they are both a fan of baking. I,of course was happy that they get along well.

"that's nice. You should invite her sometime." My heart tightened and all I can do is avoid how I almost confessed to Doyoung when he is already with someone else.

"Sure,let's bake together"

We all sat in the long table decorated with modern ornaments. Everyone talked while some continued to eat.

Unfortunately,Doyoung's older brother couldn't come with us today since he was quite busy with College in Switzerland but nothingless,everyone had fun.

Except me. I can't seem to forget about how this day turned out.

How embarrassing,I can just cry.

"Everyone...." Doyoung cleared his throat and everyone glanced at him.

He fixed his tie and I gulped.

Of course,I know what he's about to say. What I do know is that I don't know if I'm ready to hear that.

"Last year,I met a very-"

"Sorry,but.." I stood up from my seat and everyone turned their heads from Doyoung to me.

"I need to go to the comfort room" I didn't hear the next words Doyoung said or if he did say anything after I left.

Of all the time in the world,he didn't tell me because he wanted it to be a special time where everyone is gathered around,where everyone will witness his announcement. I know he wanted me to hear it and he wants me to be happy for him.

And I will be happy for him,I just need more time.

~

I lied,I never went to the bathroom.

Maybe all the workers knew that and tried to tell mom,but I didn't care.

After the dinner party,I will be back home,like nothing happened.

My plan backfired and come to think of it, he was never mine in the first place. But losing him broke my heart.

I walked down in our silent neighborhood and felt a stinging pain in my stomach.

I'm hungry

I haven't taken anything in the table because I was too busy, mentally crying.

And great,I don't have any money with me.

I sighed,looking at the starless sky.

"I'm so done with first loves!" I crouched in the ground and buried my face on my knees.

"If...I didn't a-assume so much then..maybe I won't be too h-hurt" I sobbed like a baby and continued to cry.

Well,not until I heard a noise behind the bushes.

I was about to run because you never know it might be a serial killer trying to of course-kill me.

"I don't have any money and I also don't have my phone with me" I tried to reason out and I heard more shuffling noises.

Next thing I know,my feet dragged me towards the sound and I can feel my heart pounding.

You know those horror movies where the character gets curious and comes near the monster so she ends up dead so you call her stupid?

That was me.

"surprise!" a boy appeared out of the several-stemmed woody plant and as my instincts kicked in,I punched him.

"Ow! Hey! Oow! Yah,yah! Yah Eunsol-ah!"

I looked at him confusingly. And I stopped making noises,although tears were still falling.

"W-who are you?"

"Its the member with the best hair" I darted my eyes at the stranger.

"jungwoo?"

He cleared his throat as if I just didn't catch him hiding behind the shrubs.

"What are you doing here?" I said bewildered.

"Eunsol, did you forget about today? johnny hosted a party at his house and it's lit!" He said,breathing loudly and I gasped.

"Oh,that was today?" I asked and he nodded.

"I came here to pick you up but I saw you here so I hid in the bushes." He pointed to himself.

He stated "Are you coming or not? Everyone is expecting you."

"How bout Doyoung?"

"He said he needs to attend something today" I shrugged and it became silent.

"Okay,I'll go with you" I grinned and he hugged him.

"Atta girl!"

Thanks for reading🍁