NA YUTA 。feelings

▎seventeen

Wow.......

was the only thing I said when we got to our destination. Who would have thought that Yuta's mom rented the whole amusement park for all of us. We didn't even get pass to 20 people yet we have this large place all to ourselves.

"Dude, I thought Momoka would rent a bar or something" I heard a voice behind me.

"I was looking forward to some girls" another one spoke and sooner, the voices disappeared to nowhere. Maybe they tried some of the rides or probably went to the bar they expected to be.

~

I lost Seon Mi and Hari on my way to the carousel ride🎠. Its not as exciting as the others but I had a few memories in this ride when I was still little and it'll remain forever.

I remember sitting in my little couch near the window and observing a massive tree in our backyard every autumn so just I can see its leaves wither away. It was kind of sad at first, seeing the leaves being flown away by the strong wind and carried into people's sole where it could lead them to no where and by the end of the day, they die. It's nothing, really. That moment was just a random thought.

But that day, my dad asked me to come with him on his business trip to London. He did all those office work for a day and when dusk came, we drove to an unknown place and there it stood, a carousel. We were alone, the only light was from the horses that glimmer like diamond.

"Can I have your first dance, my daughter?" he asked and I nodded vigorously.

Instead of asking my hand to a luxurious ball for our first dance, he did it in that place. As if he knew he wouldn't make it to my 18th birthday.

Unknowingly, a tear left my eye and I sobbed in my arms.

"Dad, I wish I could see you one last time" I pulled my legs into my chest.

I miss him. I miss him so much.

Was it really that bad? Was he really that bad? Was mom not enough that's why he cheated? Or did he really cheat in the first place?

I just thought that everything was on its right place, that nothing would change and we'll forever be happy. I witnessed my mom sign the divorce papers and I witnessed her cry over it too. There was this emotion in her eyes that seemed to say I don't want to let you go. So why let him go if you can't? I will never understand how that works.

So I can't help but question anything that comes to my mind. It pained me to see my mom cry because it was the first time I saw her like that. Too weak and fragile.

Where could he be?

I looked up to the stars, asking them with my eyes. If only books can answer these questions, then we won't have to ask for it ourselves..

"Eunsol, let's play!" Taeil came out of nowhere and I quickly wiped my tears away, he walked to me with a toy gun in his hands. Securing it like his life depends on it.

"huh?" Johnny followed from behind with a confused look but at the same time an alert one. "where the heck is Hari again?"

I chuckled lightly "maybe out to get food?"

Johnny laughed from what I said "her food is boys. that girl is seriously so-"

"Admit it, you're jealous because your still single"

"of course not, you twat" Johnny whacked Taeil and I paced forward to walk beside them.

"Hi noona!" Haechan was in the midst of pushing Mark in the Ferris Wheel while Mark was literally on the verge of crying.

"Haechan! I swear you little shit. I won't let you rest if you shove me here!"

It seemed like Haechan liked that because he winked at Mark "Oh, I'd like that"

"Oh. My. Gosh!" was the last word Mark had said before the doors closed and off they went.

"where are the others?" I looked around and it was unbelievably silent for people who are naturally noisy.

"ahhhhhhHHHhh!!" Jungwoo squealed "Get me more ammos!"

He stood behind me, making me his human shield from Winwin's bullets .

"Die you prick!" Winwin laughed devilishly.

"Game on!!!" Johnny screamed, lifting his gun like he was declaring war.

I slowly walked to the corner and observed the chaotic sight. The moment Taeil tripped on thin air and was endlessly hit by ammo will forever be a meme.

"Eunsol, join us!" Jungwoo said, not looking at me since he was focus on hitting Winwin.

"Yeah, I will."

"darling, there's a plank beside you can you use that?" Jungwoo tittered so I took the piece of wood, holding it carefully while I ask for his instructions

"What should I-"

"Kindly smack that against your head so you can see how badly i need your help, so jeez. Join me!" I slowly held the plank back to its original place and took the spare gun he had.

"Now...." Jungwoo whispered when he dragged me to a dark corner, hidden from Winwin.

"if we corner Winwin, we can finally kill him. Let's make a good plan using these" he grabbed two stones that possibly means me and him.

"Jungwoo, what did Winwin do again?" I raised my eyebrows and he shrugged.

"That chinese dude ate my chips."

While we were in the midst of planning. Johnny sneakily walked to our direction and squatted to our level.

"have you seen Doyoung? We need him in our team. He's a good bait."

"Uhh-no." I blankly replied

Jungwoo snapped his fingers. "Did you know he had a girlfriend?"

It came out as a shocking question to him so I wondered..."You didn't know?"

Jungwoo gasped "Oh my god! You knew before we did!Why didn't you tell us? Eunsol, we didn't know till Momoka's party. We were shookt when he brought a plus one......

"and heck it was Han Byul from our class!" he added.

So does this mean Yuta knew it before the others did? What's the reason why he didn't tell the others sooner? And why tell Yuta first?

So he took the information against me?

While I was still in confusion and rage, Winwin's voice erupted from the main path.

"guys? This isn't funny. where are you" Winwin wailed, panic evident in his eyes.

"fine, sorry Jungwoo. I didn't mean to eat your chips." Winwin sighed, making Jungwoo snicker.

"okay, Doyoung is out of nowhere. Now, where's Taeyong?" Johnny shook his head, ignoring Winwin.

"He didn't come here" Jungwoo said, his gaze still looking out for Winwin in case he might find us.

"Ughh, where are these douches when we need them." Johnny raked his hair

"Wait! How about Yuta?" Johnny spoke.

I don't want to hear his name all of a sudden.

"He came, right?" I turned my head to Jungwoo. He was here?

"Yeah, but I wonder where he is now" Johnny sat on the ground, tired.

"He could be-"

"we are right here!" I raised my hand to get Winwin's attention and Jungwoo nudged me.

"You traitor. don't do it!"

But it was too late. Winwin was on his way, with a smirk on his face as he held his gun on my direction.

"Got you"