Lost In the Sea (Montereal Series #2)

[6]

"Edi umuwi ka, bakit kailangan mo pang ipagpaalam sa akin 'yan?"

I rolled my eyes, expecting that he would say that. Parang unti-unti ko na rin nakilala ang personality nang lalaking 'to.

Napakapilosopo niya sa akin at minsan parang sinasadya niya talaga na maging ganon sa akin.

"I meant, I would go home sa condo where you live right now!" I told him. "Pwede naman diba? You would allow that? I just need a place to stay."

"May bahay ka," sabi niya. "Bakit hindi ka doon umuwi?"

I looked down and sighed. Mukhang ayaw nga niya na kasama ako. Well, even though that place is really ours, may karapatan naman siya kung ayaw niya akong kasama. I'll respect that.

"Fine, nevermind. I'll just go," malungkot kong sabi at tinalikuran siya para umalis na. Inisip ko naman kung saan nga ba ako pupunta. I could go to Tita Priscilla's! Pero, ayaw ko naman na makagulo doon. Baka, tanungin na naman nila ako kung may problema ba. I don't want them to know about my problem with Papa.

I was walking away slowly, when I felt an arm pulling me gently. Nilingon ko siya at agad niya naman binitawan ang hawak na 'yun.

"Pumapayag na ako," sabi niya. He sighed and looked away. He looked a bit stressed, probably from work but he still looks fresh though. "Sabay ka na sa akin, pauwi."

I smiled. Tiningnan niya lang ako at umiwas uli ng tingin. Bakit tuwing nginingitian ko siya'y umiiwas siya ng tingin? Naiilang ba siya sa akin?

"Yay! We can take my car, don't worry!" sabi ko, dahil napapayag ko siyang doon ako umuwi. Wala naman din akong ginawa para mapapayag siya pero ang importante, pumayag siya!

"Saan ba nakapark kotse mo?" tanong niya.

"Come!" sabi ko at hinila ang braso niya papunta sa kung saan ako nagparking. Dire-diretso lang ako papunta doon hanggang sa makarating sa kotse ko. Napatingin naman siya sa kamay kong nakahawak kaya agad ko rin 'yung binitawan.

"Ako na ang mag-drive," he offered.

Umiling ako. "Pagod ka, ako na." nakangiti kong sabi sa kanya.

Tinitigan niya ako ulit bago sa baba ulit pinako ang tingin. Ngumiti lang naman ako ulit. "Wag ka nang mahiya, I'm doing you a favor, okay? I'm happy you allowed me to stay there!"

"Sa inyo naman 'yun kaya bakit ako tatanggi..." mahina niyang sabi.

"Kahit na, you have a right to kick out anyone that you don't want to be there. Kahit ako pa 'yan. My father gave it to you, so you could do whatever you want with it."

Nag-angat siya ng tingin at matalim ulit akong tiningnan. For some reason, everytime he stares at me like this, naiilang ulit ako. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong nasa isip niya tuwing tinitingnan niya ako ng ganoon.

"Let's go!" I told him.

He just sighed and entered the front seat. Nung makapasok naman kami'y nagsimula na agad akong magpatugtog nang music. Nakatingin lang naman siya sa labas na parang malalim ang iniisip.

I started driving out of the parking lot. He still won't say a word to me. I guess, he's still not comfortable with me? I suddenly remembered how back in Batangas, ayaw niya akong kausapin because Papa told him not to. Lahat sila sinabihan ni Papa nang ganon. For what reason? To keep me away from knowing what really happened to my mother? Because apparently, they know something about it.

Sometimes... I search for her. When I was eighteen, I tried to discreetly hire a private investigator to find her. It always felt like there is a missing part of my life whenever I think of her. They never told me why she's not with me and Papa, it's almost as if they are just trying to live with the fact that she does not exist. Pero, paano mangyayari 'yon kung nabuo ako? If the reason I exist is because she carried me for nine months and left me when I was born?