Lost In the Sea (Montereal Series #2)

[30]

My eyes kept looking at him, no matter how hard I try not to.

Hindi pa rin mawala sa isipan ko ang naalala ko. It was him... I'm sure it's him! But with a different name.

Jeremiah.

"Bakit mo ginawa 'yon? You could've died, drowning!"

As soon as we reached our hotel, he never stopped scolding me for what I did. Sinadya ko naman talagang malaglag sa bangka, in case a memory will be back for me.

His jaw kept clenching as he continued to scold me. I feel like a child, getting scolded by her father. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ang tanga-tanga ko.

Hindi ko pa rin inaalis ang tingin sa kanya. He seemed a lot different with the guy I remembered. He seems colder than him. Hindi tuloy ako sigurado kung kamukha niya lang o siya talaga 'yon. I couldn't even ask him, because I'm scared.

Most importantly, what is that guy's place in my life. We seemed really close. Parang ang saya ko pag kasama ko siya. Was he the guy Papa was talking about? Kaya may pag-alinlangan din akong pakasalan si Brandon?

"Gusto mo na ba talaga mamatay? Why do you always do things that make me worry, huh? Sinasadya mo ba talaga 'to?!"

Galit pa rin siya sa akin dahil sa ginawa ko. Oo na. It was a risky decision I made, but I was desperate. I wanted to know the guy, just so I could feel like a part of myself is filled.

I lost a part of myself in that accident. I don't even know myself anymore. Pero ako rin naman ang may kasalanan nito. I ran away, when I could've just faced the problem itself. Edi sana, wala ako dito ngayon, nangangapa kung sino talaga ako. I wouldn't have to doubt every single person, if I just faced my fears and told them what I felt.

But what bothers me the most is Jeremiah. Ano nangyari sa aming dalawa? Were we really together? Is him and Enzo the same person?

There's a lot of questions in my head. Pero alam kong kayang sagutin 'yan ni Enzo. He just won't tell me anything.

"I wanted to remember," I reasoned out.

"What? By drowning yourself? Nadine, may ibang paraan pa para makaalala! Papatayin mo ba talaga ang sarili mo, ha? Just so you could remember everything?"

I looked away and bit my lip. Galit na galit pa rin nga talaga siya sa akin. I would've died, but it was a good thing he knew how to swim.

"I'm tired of thinking about my memories and waiting for them to come back. It feels like there's a huge hole in my life that I haven't solved yet..." mahina kong sabi sa kanya. "Gusto ko lang naman makaalala."

I wanted to ask him who Jeremiah is, or if it's really him. But I'm scared. I don't know what I would feel if it is indeed him. He had the answers to my questions, but he just won't freaking tell me what it is!

I heard him heave a deep sigh. Umupo naman lang siya sa tabi ko. His hands were on his forehead, looking so frustrated. Hindi ko naman alam ang dapat kong sabihin.

"Do you really want to go back to your family?" he asked.

Umawang ang labi ko sa naging tanong niya. Hindi ko inaasahang sasabihin niya iyon sa akin. Anong nakain niya?

"Do you really want to go back to them?" he asked again.

Pagtingin ko sa mga mata niya'y ibang-iba na ito. It no longer looks cold. Instead, he seemed scared. Hindi ko alam ang kinakatakutan niya, o bakit nag-iba ang pinapakita ng mga mata niya.

"I want to..." I muttered. "Hahayaan mo ba ako?"

He stared at me for a while before looking away. Nakaupo lang naman kami dito sa kama. It doesn't seem like a trap for me. Dati, tingin ko sa kanya isang manloloko. A ruthless man who held me hostage in the island he owns. Pero ngayon... parang ibang Enzo ang nakikita ko sa mga mata niya.